fuckers
ive realised that you fuckers arent gonna reply to that. i didnt expect you to. idk what i was thinking. anyways....
.
my april fools day had ONE good moment. here's my day:
wake up at 6, eat, coffee, shower, pick up, get ready, tin cup coffee house, disgusting italian soda, talk to evan, go home, eat fishsticks, kyle and mike leave, internet, dad gets home, phil calls and ruins my april fools joke but i make a comeback, dad and mike fight alot, i try to fall asleep and i get yelled at, i end up trying to read my star wars book, start dinner, PHIL SHOWED UP, finished dinner, watched the simpsons and hollow men, tried to get dad to take us to robots or constantine and failed, tried to get dad to take us to rent movies and failed, got my comp, made a myspace account. so. today. i cried. alot. more then youll understand. once, during dinner, i cried bcuz phil showing up and SURPRISING me made me day bearable if not good. it made me happy. i felt loved. but, eventaully, i became depressed again and while watching silence of the lambs, there was a funeral scene and ive been thinking about tyler ever since. i dont like having my best friend dead. someone said he always knew the exact thing to cheer someone up. i think, that he made people happy by acctually ATTEMPTING to cheer them up. he TRIED to make me happy. he CARED and thats why i smiled. he loved me when nobody else did. then again, it was his fault i ALMOST got an F in physical science. lol. i hate god for this. ill never forgive him. think of your most prized posession/person. now imagine someone taking them away from you. i dont think youd forgive that person either. i mean, sure, hes gone to a 'better place' but life down here was never horrible with him around. he kissed the cuts on my wrist once. and always let me sit shotgun when i was sad. hed share his cigarettes. and let me choose the radio station. hed tell me loved me.....especially when trevor was being an ass. hed make jokes about stina with me, laugh about them with me, and then agree with me when i said i missed her. he would tickle me when it was just us in his car during lunch. hed make me giggle and laugh and squirm. hed let me change into his shirts. and said i looked sexy in his red Nebraska Bookstore hoodie. *ok, here's for those of you who ever want to know the greatest gift you could ever give me.....take me to the nebraska bookstore and atleast HELP my buy the hoodie like his* hed always wear that leather jacket. and thought i looked adorable in my glasses. and even better in his. hed only sing ONE song to me, maroon 5's she will be loved. he told me, atleast a million times, that he wanted to photograph me bcuz i was so beautiful and that even if my body wasnt perfect, i had an aura of sorts that made me wonderful in every way and the things that happened in the past that made me so tough and naughty on the outside but fragile on the inside was what made me beautiful. he always tried to get me to convince my dad to adopt a kitten. lol. and after he had work, hed always smell like grease. lol. he gave me a piggyback once.....
.
my april fools day had ONE good moment. here's my day:
wake up at 6, eat, coffee, shower, pick up, get ready, tin cup coffee house, disgusting italian soda, talk to evan, go home, eat fishsticks, kyle and mike leave, internet, dad gets home, phil calls and ruins my april fools joke but i make a comeback, dad and mike fight alot, i try to fall asleep and i get yelled at, i end up trying to read my star wars book, start dinner, PHIL SHOWED UP, finished dinner, watched the simpsons and hollow men, tried to get dad to take us to robots or constantine and failed, tried to get dad to take us to rent movies and failed, got my comp, made a myspace account. so. today. i cried. alot. more then youll understand. once, during dinner, i cried bcuz phil showing up and SURPRISING me made me day bearable if not good. it made me happy. i felt loved. but, eventaully, i became depressed again and while watching silence of the lambs, there was a funeral scene and ive been thinking about tyler ever since. i dont like having my best friend dead. someone said he always knew the exact thing to cheer someone up. i think, that he made people happy by acctually ATTEMPTING to cheer them up. he TRIED to make me happy. he CARED and thats why i smiled. he loved me when nobody else did. then again, it was his fault i ALMOST got an F in physical science. lol. i hate god for this. ill never forgive him. think of your most prized posession/person. now imagine someone taking them away from you. i dont think youd forgive that person either. i mean, sure, hes gone to a 'better place' but life down here was never horrible with him around. he kissed the cuts on my wrist once. and always let me sit shotgun when i was sad. hed share his cigarettes. and let me choose the radio station. hed tell me loved me.....especially when trevor was being an ass. hed make jokes about stina with me, laugh about them with me, and then agree with me when i said i missed her. he would tickle me when it was just us in his car during lunch. hed make me giggle and laugh and squirm. hed let me change into his shirts. and said i looked sexy in his red Nebraska Bookstore hoodie. *ok, here's for those of you who ever want to know the greatest gift you could ever give me.....take me to the nebraska bookstore and atleast HELP my buy the hoodie like his* hed always wear that leather jacket. and thought i looked adorable in my glasses. and even better in his. hed only sing ONE song to me, maroon 5's she will be loved. he told me, atleast a million times, that he wanted to photograph me bcuz i was so beautiful and that even if my body wasnt perfect, i had an aura of sorts that made me wonderful in every way and the things that happened in the past that made me so tough and naughty on the outside but fragile on the inside was what made me beautiful. he always tried to get me to convince my dad to adopt a kitten. lol. and after he had work, hed always smell like grease. lol. he gave me a piggyback once.....
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