Xmas again

merry real xmas everyone. things are ok here. nana and i are up and about. mom emailed me a crap-load of photos which are really embarassing. its looking like snow here tho. scary. we might order pizza for dinner. ive been listening to busted. but now its franz ferdinand. and then tv i guess. the fire's on and we're getting comfortable. i want to go down to the gas station or mcdonalds or something. i really want mcdonalds. hopefully pizza hut isnt open so i can get mcdonalds. ILL DRIVE. WOOT. lol. hopefully she doesnt get me drinking until AFTER dinner. lmao. jason brought out an album of photos of him, tony nad my dad. when my dad was 16, he looked like jim morrison. YUM. omg. lol. my dad was hot when he was 16. he was, EXACTLY like jim morrison. lol. awesome, no? binx and i discussed love. and lovers. i feel sorry for her, even tho her story brought up some heartache from my own feelings. i kinda wish i was with certain people today. or, idk. something. ya know? i wish it was mutual too. oh well. that certain person is happy and having fun and thats all that matters. i need some virtual mistletoe. lol. no presents to open. i got penguin socks, a cross necklace *sadly, im agnostic*, and a laser pointer *wtf* from nana yesterday. and a purse from kim, one that looks like you went shopping for a 12 year old. wtf? oh, and a 15 g.c. for old navy. WTF? WTF IS 15 BUCKS GONNA BUY ME AT OLD NAVY? NO ONE SHOPS AT OLD NAVY ANYMORE. idk wtf is wrong with her. her and jason are really messed up. she has jason so pussy whipped and so he never really spends time with us and he's a cheap-ass and really self centered. he treats nana like crap. i jhate it. so much. mom called and she's been really nice and happy lately. i wish i could be. i am a little happier, since i got to see my baby two days ago. his mom even left us alone. and there were no hickies. kinda sad for me, but atleast we wont be in trouble. right? i hope they return napoleon dynamite in time. i feel bad for leaving it there. his dad's cool. one of those, men of few words. i can see where phil gets his shyness. and his mom, and her galpal. kinda odd. and loud. and idk, she's one of those bigger women with rosy cheeks and a big laugh, like that of an allky. lol. im sure his open side....like the one he has with tim....is alot like that. lol. how id love to see that. lmao. im so tired. and hungry. not really hungry. just bored. a mcchicken does sound good. i cant believe the day is almost over. im going to bed early. there's so much of nothing to do here. i might drive around just for the fuck of it. i mean, whatelse am i gonna do. im still in my pjs and tim's hat. which has become part of my everyday style. my tongue is in pain. lol. and im so sick of chocolate. i need money tho. since i dont wanna use up the money nana's paying me with. ill have dad send money over onto my card. and then, not counting that money, ill have 15 in the bank. ill sell him my 15 g.c. to old navy so thatll be 30. plus what nana gives me and grandma bonnie usually gives me about 20. thats 50 + nana's payment. cool! lol. i really miss tyler. idk. lately ive really been missing him. like, alot. and ive been crying over him. kinda silent tears, like when im traveling to nana's or trying to fall asleep. when im alone i really think of him and i get so lost and confused. ive been really lost lately and i really wish i had some wellbutrin. i really wish i had tyler. i wish he was here, and i wouldnt be so lost and sad and depressed. im so afraid of someone else dying. or me. idk. i wish he was here. life is so hectic. i love hectic usually, but now, its so slow and dreary. and i cant nap. and im so tired. its so crrrraaazzzzyyyy. lmao. martin emailed me the other day. he's the one who really keeps up the emails. i miss him. i really hope next summer works out so nana and i can see england together again. im kinda afraid that it'll be the last time. she really wants to see wimbledon. and i think we will. especially if we're all thinking its her last time. she says she doesnt have the money like she did last time, even though this time she has a job. there's always bob but im gonna pull a guilt trip over dad to get him to help out. but i g2g incase she's sleeping. loves and kisses. i hope ur xmas is a shit-load better then mine! *MUAH*