Jared

I remember once. I was still in Goodrich. And, Jared and I were kinda fighting. I dont remember what it was about. We were really fighting cuz i snuck downstairs in the seventh grade section. I walked up to him, gave him a note and gave him his ring back. The one Im wearing. i told him 'if you're going to let my dad break us up, then im not stopping you. you obviously dont love me enough to get through this together, with me, so im leaving you. how you take it is not my problem.' and he turned and walked away. i stood there, rooted to the spot. at first i wanted to run up to him and when i jumped to run to him my freinds stopped me, then i broke free, ran to him and said i loved him. i turned and ran, upstairs, unto the hallway. smack in the middle (in the locker section behind the library) and i collapsed, i was on my knees. i had my face in my hands. i was crying. really crying. streams of tears escaped my sad blue eyes. it was very depressing. like a movie or something. but before i knew it, he ran up to me, knelt beside me, begged me to stop crying. just begged. 'brit, stop, please dont...no, i need you, i love you, ill never let you go' and with that, he held me, pulled me half onto his lap and rocked me back and forth as he cried, begging me to stop and saying he loved me. even know, i still remember it. i remember how it felt to cry, to be held, to hear someone beg to stay with you, to hear someone cry to you. TO FEEL LOVED. if anyone has ever shown love, its him. i know raped and abused me for months on end but like i said, that doesnt mean he didnt love me at first. sigh. memories, only memories.

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris is my current music. Sad love songs. As I search adn seacrh and rack my mind trying to recall good times with my loved ones.not many have happened. i got kicked outta math the last day of school for pda in teh halls cuz i kissed jared in front of miss helzer. it sucks having a bf who goes to a different school. not just for seeing tehm and loving them but for jealousy reasons too. ill admit, im a jealous person. as if you couldnt tell already. oh well. ill get over it right?

OMG YOU GUYS. OMG! i almost forgot. my freind nicole watts. from aussie-land. melbourne i think. she came back! she neomailed me! after all these years. she left right after england. she couldnt talk to me anymore cuz of her mom. but now she can! we're neomailing again. i just get her message today. i miss her. and she's in the states!!!! you have no idea how happy i am. we're gonna spend hours catching up i know we will. and we'll be best freinds again! i still have her letter that she sent me. omg. i wonder where her picture is? im gonna send her mine. that reminds me. ill post my pic here too. Brittni's trucker hat . Cute no? I like it. im glad mommy let me do it. Heehee. lol. anyways. Omg i miss Nicole soooooooo mcuh. and so much has changed for the both of us. if she's close, i hope i can meet her. im calling her someday on my cell if she's in the states. or ill ahve her call me. and she can mail me. and ill mail her. AND OMG IM SOOOOOOOO HAPPY. even tho my E string is still broken. ill fix it somehow. but anyways. NICOLE...IF UR READIN THIS. I LOVE YOU CHICKA.

well i g2g. long message no? well. ttyl peepz. loves sweetcheeks