Saturday, September 18, 2004

Football

i went to the game last night. lns vs lsw. we lost. by alot. lol. but i think everyone had fun none the less. last night was the best/worst night of my life.
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i only went to the game to see trevor, since i figured, if i didnt, i wouldnt see him tonight. michelle went with me. it was great. we were meeting up with squeek at the game, cuz i was giving him a ride home. first thing, of course, i went to see trevor. he did wonderfully, and he doesnt want me to say it but he looked so cute in his band uniform. and cute in an understatement. he did wonderful at halftime. so did emily. emily and i changed pants (she had gold leggings for the latin flare group) it was hilarious. and, um, rd and nick c and kevin played football with my purse. next time i go, dad sure as hell isnt going. lol. we were suposed to bring trevor home also, but when he went to put his drums away, he looks up *from the field to the first row where i was standing* and says ' just go, ill make it up to you' lmao. i was happy about it then but im kinda, like, laughing at it now. he didnt want my dad to see him in his uniform. DUDE, YOU WERE ON THE FRIGGIN FEILD. EVERYONE SAW U IN UR UNIFORM. but yeah, i didnt say that and just said ok and left to find squeek. we laughed so much on the way home. and squeek was making fun of michelle and i when we ewre singing. never once *besides nsync* has a friend of mine been able to sing with me like that. and squeek? well, squeek is jsut awesome. really really awesome. lol. im still sad trevor didnt go with us, then maybe well. nvmd. i got home. as, of course, thats the thing i do when i go home. lol. comp first thing,w ell, second thing after i pee. lol. im so stupid. and after a fwe minutes, trevor was online and we had the convo of a lifetime. and i think the only way i acn talk about it is to a person, and to one person and one person only. and, i knew almost everything he said, i knew that it was true, and it had crossed my mind before. but, when he said it, it blew my mind and i cried. of course. i cried till 3 am and i went to bed at 12. its just, idc if im not the one who does it, but he really needs to see what shes made him do. the drink. the scars. wtf? and he still wants her? yet, he says im lucky bcuz i got over jared. so, idk. he talks so highly of her. yet, he says shit like that. and i really want to talk to him but id think hell be stopping by after what happened. ill prolly be at michelle's anyways. idk anything at all. and i mean, yeah it bothers me that when he hugs me he thinks of her, but im so fucking into him i have no choice. lmao, and michelle said im lucky. and, idk, cuz he said hes hardly even had her on his mind but he says when he hugs me, he think of her. he hugs between almost every period. lol. and poor josh had to hear my complaints about, well, him and i being seen in public. poor josh. ill make it up to him. somehow. but im gonna go. i guess. prolly make some tea and wait for michelle to call. i might even watch a little tv, that or listen to the song i had on repeat all last night. i think that kinda provoked more crying, but hey, you dont fucking listen to acdc when you're depressed as fuck right? either way, im making his gift. and ill have even more to put on there.

-Brittni

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