And I Wish You'd Die, At My Feet, Begging for Forgiveness
a current email from my mom contained the following:
Well, I guess I don't know any of this because you haven't really come to me and told me. I haven't seen any bruises on you. You never showed me any when I was there!! I can't help you with something if you make me believe everything is "Peachy!" That isn't my fault!! If you act like everything is OK then I can only assume it is. I'm not a mind reader Brittni!!
As far as me having a perfect life because I'm not there - that is an assumption and I'm offended that you would even go there. You don't know what I go through not being around you and Mike. Just like you tell me I don't know what you go through because I'm not there. You don't know the shit I get for leaving you and Mike! You don't know what people say about me because I left you and Mike - so back off sister. Life isn't easy and I'm sorry to say that!! My Mom used to threaten to put me in a home, so don't go there with me. I have been there and I have been 16 years old thinking all the world was against me. But I quickly learned that I cannot have everything I want.
Your father and I tried getting you assistance - if life was so bad then why didn't you tell them? Maybe they could have placed you in foster care - if living with your father and brother is so terrible. I can guarantee that foster care will be 10X's worse, but if that is what you want then I guess I can talk to your dad about it. I wouldn't want you in an environment that is abusive in anyway. You can live with me - but I can also guarantee as I am sitting here - I refuse to put up with some of the shit your father does, so living with me isn't going to be a walk in the park. You WILL learn a whole new way of living!! You WILL have all new friends because I will move you to IL. YOU WILL do certain chores, etc.... etc.... But it is your choice. Not that your father will go along with that one either.
I don't spoil your brother!! I don't do any more for him than I do for you. You don't come and sit with me on the couch because you are to busy talking to friends on the computer or phone. In fact, if I remember correctly I was upset because you wanted to go away on Saturday night (my last night there) and I let you. SO, don't tell me that I don't want or try to be a part of your life and spend time with you. Your brother will come up stairs and sit with me and watch TV. I also remember that your brother was in trouble while I was there and you weren't!! HHHUUUMMM, let's think about this one! Your brother isn't any more an angel than you are - I'm sure he has been in his fair share of trouble - the unfortunate part is - NO ONE tells me about it. Again, if I don't know about it - I can only assume everything is OK!
I scold you because your language is terrible for a 16 year old. I scold you because you are my daughter! Because that IS WHAT MOTHERS DO!! If I didn't scold you then I wouldn't give a shit - but I do and so I come down on you. You have to learn just like the rest of us. Life is not easy Brittni.
But again, if life is so terrible - let me know and I will talk to your dad about placing you in foster care.
_______________________________
lmao. i used to cry when my dad would yell and hit me, i was cry I WANT MY MOMMY. lmao. how pathetic. and ppl says 'you should respect ur momma' fuck that. stupid btch. fuck that. im fucking sick of everyones shit
I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE
the fucking end
Well, I guess I don't know any of this because you haven't really come to me and told me. I haven't seen any bruises on you. You never showed me any when I was there!! I can't help you with something if you make me believe everything is "Peachy!" That isn't my fault!! If you act like everything is OK then I can only assume it is. I'm not a mind reader Brittni!!
As far as me having a perfect life because I'm not there - that is an assumption and I'm offended that you would even go there. You don't know what I go through not being around you and Mike. Just like you tell me I don't know what you go through because I'm not there. You don't know the shit I get for leaving you and Mike! You don't know what people say about me because I left you and Mike - so back off sister. Life isn't easy and I'm sorry to say that!! My Mom used to threaten to put me in a home, so don't go there with me. I have been there and I have been 16 years old thinking all the world was against me. But I quickly learned that I cannot have everything I want.
Your father and I tried getting you assistance - if life was so bad then why didn't you tell them? Maybe they could have placed you in foster care - if living with your father and brother is so terrible. I can guarantee that foster care will be 10X's worse, but if that is what you want then I guess I can talk to your dad about it. I wouldn't want you in an environment that is abusive in anyway. You can live with me - but I can also guarantee as I am sitting here - I refuse to put up with some of the shit your father does, so living with me isn't going to be a walk in the park. You WILL learn a whole new way of living!! You WILL have all new friends because I will move you to IL. YOU WILL do certain chores, etc.... etc.... But it is your choice. Not that your father will go along with that one either.
I don't spoil your brother!! I don't do any more for him than I do for you. You don't come and sit with me on the couch because you are to busy talking to friends on the computer or phone. In fact, if I remember correctly I was upset because you wanted to go away on Saturday night (my last night there) and I let you. SO, don't tell me that I don't want or try to be a part of your life and spend time with you. Your brother will come up stairs and sit with me and watch TV. I also remember that your brother was in trouble while I was there and you weren't!! HHHUUUMMM, let's think about this one! Your brother isn't any more an angel than you are - I'm sure he has been in his fair share of trouble - the unfortunate part is - NO ONE tells me about it. Again, if I don't know about it - I can only assume everything is OK!
I scold you because your language is terrible for a 16 year old. I scold you because you are my daughter! Because that IS WHAT MOTHERS DO!! If I didn't scold you then I wouldn't give a shit - but I do and so I come down on you. You have to learn just like the rest of us. Life is not easy Brittni.
But again, if life is so terrible - let me know and I will talk to your dad about placing you in foster care.
_______________________________
lmao. i used to cry when my dad would yell and hit me, i was cry I WANT MY MOMMY. lmao. how pathetic. and ppl says 'you should respect ur momma' fuck that. stupid btch. fuck that. im fucking sick of everyones shit
I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE
the fucking end
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