Phil Singing

stayed the night with ashley last night. went to bill's and hung out and got high. we were with cody too. cody's cool. i proclaimed myself god. lol. I AM GOD. lol. but nobody would pray to me. :( jsut playing. i went outside and played in the snow with bailey. im gonna go it again with mike when im not talking to phil, but i didnt get ahold of him ALLLLLLL yestermaday so im making up for all the days ive missed with him. he had the flu yesterday, my poor baby, but hes feeling better. sadly for me, i have cramps, so i suck. my body needs to die. tomorrow. i will see phil. or else. i will ask cody to drive me there after school bcuz ashley and i are having our pics taken for the book cover, which, im going to type up poems today. hopefully we can find someone to buy it and publish it but first i must email ppl on how to do it bcuz brittni's never had a book published before. omg. im so happy. and giggly and that KB KILLA was a creeper. i think all ganja is creeper for me. grrrrr and whatnot. but im talking to my phil and, well, besides being next to him, nothing could be better. he's singing memory ACOUSTIC STYLE. omg. he's so wonderful. i just, wow. ive never been this smitten. ive never been more trusting to another human. i could HONESTLY had over a deed to my heart to him and he wouldnt even let it tear. i trust him. honestly and deeply. which i havent been able to do since age 2. **fuck you mom. you ruined my relationships** and his tendancy to be hidden and mysterious keeps me entertained and i never get bored with him. i can hear him smile and can imagine his face with a simple 'yeah'. idk. but im happy. and ive never doubted him for our whole relationship. man am i happy.