i feel like total and complete shit
woohoo for feeling crappy! here's my weekend:
.
Fri: hung out with ashley after school. well, at 4. i went with her to get her bellybutton pierced. but she got it numbed so it was no fun. it looked pretty cool tho. we went to her house, then walked to amigos for some discounted food and walked home. my toes were so cold in my converse. converse suck for shoes in the snow. grr. lol. we went with cody, picked up todd. he got in the car and looked t me and said 'how the hell is this....oh hey' lol. we havent seen each other forever. so, then we were gonna pick up other ppl, but idk wut happened there. we ended up at josh mayr's house. he was drunk as fuck. him and his brother went with us to super-saver and jason *his bro* bought todd some vodka. then, we went back to josh's house. omg he was sp drunk he was stupid. i took cody's keys so i could go get the vodka. josh got in the car and i had to lure him out with the vodka. lmao. i took about 10 hits off of a bong-stem. lol. ashley took about 3. lol. then cody took my to alyssa's. *p.s. somehwere before josh's house, i bought 2 oz of shrooms* YAY FOR ME. spent the night with alyssa, giggling and shit. talked to ben, dillon's friend. talked to wendel. walked downstairs with cookie tins in my hoodie pockets. lol. they were my 'portable bongoes' lol.
.
SAT: came home and shit. phil ended up coming over. it was fun, we watched tv. watched some movies. he was so sweet to me. i love him so much. on the way to take him home, we went to bestbuy. dad bought The Wall. i own the village now. while he was here, mike was sliding on the kitchen floor with the dog, then he put wood polish on it and we could hardly walk on it. phil and i laughed so hard. and then my dad took my popcorn, and sat next to me while phil was on my left. lol. we watched A Life Less Ordinary, Napoleon Dynamite and Frank Caliendo live. lol. frank caliendo is hilarious.
.
today: i gotte get ready soon, im going with ashley to her hotel. we're partying at the hojo tonight for her 16th birthday. she rocks. i <33 her like crazy. its gonna be fun. i wont trip tonight, BUT, i will get high.
.
binx: what do you mean, what was up with it? you know full well. you read it. emo boys drink. lmao. they drink more then anyone i know. just bcuz ur small ass house's emo boys *if there are any* dont drink doesnt mean real ones dont. ur not fucking emo either. emo kids cant be straight edge. nope. sry. IM SO EMO, IM HARDCORE BUT I DONT DRINK! lmao. you're fucking stupid. stop feeding some image that you think works for you. maybe you should be yourself. not push yourself to look a certain way and act and think a certain way and listen to a certain type of music so others will think 'oh man, shes so hardcore'. its dumb. its not cool. fucking, be yourself. if you like some shirt that's from oldnavy, wear it goddamnit. dont shun it bcuz it doesnt fit ur style. if you like it, love it. if you dont wanna drink, dont force yourself to have an attitude like you do. its so stupid. see derek? he loves guys. he loves gay guys kissing. but he also loves computers. and xbox, and he listens to the most pussy-ass music ever. does he try and change that so everything will think of him as some badass, hot, gay guy? no. he loves himself. period. do you see me trying to listen to hawthorne heights and the postal service and grow out my bangs so ppl think im hardcore? no. my real friends think im cool and they love me. period. i dont need to change. i can listen to lil jon while with phil, and he still loves me. i can listen to franz ferdinand, then the killers, then nsync if i want. my real friends wont stop calling me cool. they wont shun me. you can listen to, and do whatever you want. dont strive for some fucking image that isnt even cool. its stupid. i dont try to be emo anymore...why? EMO PPL SUCK! period. they're mean, they're stuck-up, they're drunks. they say stupid shit and act so hourendously stupid. like this kid jeremy, hot, true, BUT SO FUCKIGN STUCK UP I CANT STAND HIM. dont be one certain way. if you want to dress like ur from under-ground-punk-london, DO IT. learn tho, just bcuz you know one person whos emo, doesnt mean they're all the same. every emo kid ive seen has admitted to drinking lots and usually has a cigarette hanging out of their mouths. so get off the high-horse you rode in on and stop being such a fucking dumbass. dont like what im saying? PISS OFF!
.
Loves
-Brittni
.
post-script bitches: i feel stupid. why? bcuz i thought derek and i were close. man, who was i kidding. he blogs and is talking about all this random cool shit hes doing. and, he doesnt email, or IM me anymore. period. i feel left out. and i mean, i should be happy that he's kinda, growing up and getting into that highschool aura. it's kinda cool, i think it'd make him a little easier to hang out with....but i still feel.....idk. not really left out, but left behind. idk. its not like derek and i were anything special, obviously. but, im really believing that any hope i had can come crashing down at any moment, AGAIN. cuz, ya know, he meant ALOT to me. sad that that sounds so past-tense. derek....where are you? have you died? i think he died and his spirit is doing all the cool things derek never got to do and then is blogging about it in heaven. might as well believe it, sigh. i wanna call derek a jackass but he didnt do anything wrong. im just so, frustrated bcuz i feel this way and i dont know wut THIS WAY is. damnit, damnit all to hell. i hate this. i kinda wanted to be the person derek did those things with, like, you know, coming in to lincoln and hanging out with me and getting drunk. or high. or something. something like that. idk. i guess im just outta luck whenever it comes to anything to do with derek.
.
Fri: hung out with ashley after school. well, at 4. i went with her to get her bellybutton pierced. but she got it numbed so it was no fun. it looked pretty cool tho. we went to her house, then walked to amigos for some discounted food and walked home. my toes were so cold in my converse. converse suck for shoes in the snow. grr. lol. we went with cody, picked up todd. he got in the car and looked t me and said 'how the hell is this....oh hey' lol. we havent seen each other forever. so, then we were gonna pick up other ppl, but idk wut happened there. we ended up at josh mayr's house. he was drunk as fuck. him and his brother went with us to super-saver and jason *his bro* bought todd some vodka. then, we went back to josh's house. omg he was sp drunk he was stupid. i took cody's keys so i could go get the vodka. josh got in the car and i had to lure him out with the vodka. lmao. i took about 10 hits off of a bong-stem. lol. ashley took about 3. lol. then cody took my to alyssa's. *p.s. somehwere before josh's house, i bought 2 oz of shrooms* YAY FOR ME. spent the night with alyssa, giggling and shit. talked to ben, dillon's friend. talked to wendel. walked downstairs with cookie tins in my hoodie pockets. lol. they were my 'portable bongoes' lol.
.
SAT: came home and shit. phil ended up coming over. it was fun, we watched tv. watched some movies. he was so sweet to me. i love him so much. on the way to take him home, we went to bestbuy. dad bought The Wall. i own the village now. while he was here, mike was sliding on the kitchen floor with the dog, then he put wood polish on it and we could hardly walk on it. phil and i laughed so hard. and then my dad took my popcorn, and sat next to me while phil was on my left. lol. we watched A Life Less Ordinary, Napoleon Dynamite and Frank Caliendo live. lol. frank caliendo is hilarious.
.
today: i gotte get ready soon, im going with ashley to her hotel. we're partying at the hojo tonight for her 16th birthday. she rocks. i <33 her like crazy. its gonna be fun. i wont trip tonight, BUT, i will get high.
.
binx: what do you mean, what was up with it? you know full well. you read it. emo boys drink. lmao. they drink more then anyone i know. just bcuz ur small ass house's emo boys *if there are any* dont drink doesnt mean real ones dont. ur not fucking emo either. emo kids cant be straight edge. nope. sry. IM SO EMO, IM HARDCORE BUT I DONT DRINK! lmao. you're fucking stupid. stop feeding some image that you think works for you. maybe you should be yourself. not push yourself to look a certain way and act and think a certain way and listen to a certain type of music so others will think 'oh man, shes so hardcore'. its dumb. its not cool. fucking, be yourself. if you like some shirt that's from oldnavy, wear it goddamnit. dont shun it bcuz it doesnt fit ur style. if you like it, love it. if you dont wanna drink, dont force yourself to have an attitude like you do. its so stupid. see derek? he loves guys. he loves gay guys kissing. but he also loves computers. and xbox, and he listens to the most pussy-ass music ever. does he try and change that so everything will think of him as some badass, hot, gay guy? no. he loves himself. period. do you see me trying to listen to hawthorne heights and the postal service and grow out my bangs so ppl think im hardcore? no. my real friends think im cool and they love me. period. i dont need to change. i can listen to lil jon while with phil, and he still loves me. i can listen to franz ferdinand, then the killers, then nsync if i want. my real friends wont stop calling me cool. they wont shun me. you can listen to, and do whatever you want. dont strive for some fucking image that isnt even cool. its stupid. i dont try to be emo anymore...why? EMO PPL SUCK! period. they're mean, they're stuck-up, they're drunks. they say stupid shit and act so hourendously stupid. like this kid jeremy, hot, true, BUT SO FUCKIGN STUCK UP I CANT STAND HIM. dont be one certain way. if you want to dress like ur from under-ground-punk-london, DO IT. learn tho, just bcuz you know one person whos emo, doesnt mean they're all the same. every emo kid ive seen has admitted to drinking lots and usually has a cigarette hanging out of their mouths. so get off the high-horse you rode in on and stop being such a fucking dumbass. dont like what im saying? PISS OFF!
.
Loves
-Brittni
.
post-script bitches: i feel stupid. why? bcuz i thought derek and i were close. man, who was i kidding. he blogs and is talking about all this random cool shit hes doing. and, he doesnt email, or IM me anymore. period. i feel left out. and i mean, i should be happy that he's kinda, growing up and getting into that highschool aura. it's kinda cool, i think it'd make him a little easier to hang out with....but i still feel.....idk. not really left out, but left behind. idk. its not like derek and i were anything special, obviously. but, im really believing that any hope i had can come crashing down at any moment, AGAIN. cuz, ya know, he meant ALOT to me. sad that that sounds so past-tense. derek....where are you? have you died? i think he died and his spirit is doing all the cool things derek never got to do and then is blogging about it in heaven. might as well believe it, sigh. i wanna call derek a jackass but he didnt do anything wrong. im just so, frustrated bcuz i feel this way and i dont know wut THIS WAY is. damnit, damnit all to hell. i hate this. i kinda wanted to be the person derek did those things with, like, you know, coming in to lincoln and hanging out with me and getting drunk. or high. or something. something like that. idk. i guess im just outta luck whenever it comes to anything to do with derek.
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