God

ive found god. through happiness. god is happiness. sin is everything against it. sin is ruining happiness. god is the trees. god is attention, god is love, sex, flowers, smiles, hugs, kisses, food, the sun, thunderstorms, friends, family, people, books. god is everything that makes you happy. god is when someone is holding you and whispering in your ear. god is a day between spring and summer, with tulips and irises and daffodills and clouds and blue skies and walking in the park. god is what makes you smile on the inside. god is not a brooding man. god is not a man to judge. god is not a man. god IS your friends and family and happiness. they do not judge, nor do we. ive found god. god IS heaven. thank you alice walker.
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i hate adolf hitler.
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phil. im sorry about last night. i do need you, more then ever. and you may need me too. im here for you. im believe you when you tell me those things. ill believe them with all my heart. i want to trust in you. i want to hold you. i want you to be my angel. i want to be your goddess. just like you always said. i want to be yours truly and forever. completely and finally. i love you. undyingly. i want to share complete bonds, incase i ever lose you. i want to always remember that we were each others. i want to love you.
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i <3 chambord et fontainebleau. lol.
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im gonna get married on the double stairs on fountainebleau. he'll go up the right stairs, ill go up the left. we'll honeymoon in the castle. or chambord or something. we'll have a priest marry us in front of the doors of fontainebleau. we'll walk back around, down the steps, kiss, and walk away to a horse drawn carraige. itll be so romantic.
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i <3 happiness. i need sleep tho. and food. damn school food that i DONT wanna eat. grrrrrrrrr. lol. i need to talk to mom and alyssa about phil's gifts. damn. ill talk to alyssa later during photos. loves.