Fasting

i cheated. i had come coffee. but, coffee before 7am doesnt count. and i cant binge on it either. otherwise, besides alot of hunger pains, which ill get used to, im ok. i havent gotten thru the first day yet, but ill be fine. why am i doing this? to test my willpower. atleast lunch wont be tempting. im gettin aaron to drive me to pius to see phil during his lunch. he thinks his sister is bringing him meds. atleast, i hope he comes outside to see wtf is going on. or else ill cry. since chris fucked up my morning plans. i hope this cheers him up. since i now owe aaron 10 bucks and a weeks worth of history homework. i wore my vanilla perfume and my banana lipgloss just for phil. im getting butterflies and im all nervous. i hope everything turns out ok. i have a C in geometry. and my photo is being put up in the district offices. the one alyssa took of me w/ a mirror and my angel pose overlapped. oh yes. im nervous for language fair. i hope nothing bad happens. please. i feel so horrible about last night. i wish i was happy. i wish i could relive certain parts of my life so id be happier. just for you. id do anything for you phil. being happy isnt eveything being perfect, its being able to see past the imperfections. i promise to be happier. i got my geometry assignment done in class. our mardi gras poster will get a blue ribbon. i know it. its times like this i wish i had a car. ooooooooo time needs to hurry up and get to 11:34 so i can packup and leave w/ claire and aaron. ok, its 11:21. 14 mins to go. mr.icky in this class asked me who i was walking with before 2nd period. i was like, either claire or alyssa why? and he asked me which ones hotter. claire of course but i cant say that. i have a couple acoustic songs stuck in my head. hands down, best of me, iris and reason. i want to learn one. and learn to sing it....like really well. and sing it for phil. 11 mins. im looking good. i did my makeup over. lol. im so nervous. its like a blind date almost.......since i THINK he got his haircut. i think. i wish i had my camera. lol. naughty brittni. 10 mins. omg im nervous. hands down this is the best day that i ever remember. my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so wont you will me, so i die happy. my heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or busy, or wear as jewelry, which ever you prefer. i love you phil. oh man. time is NOT fast enough. 7 mins. daddy's buying me an acdc greatest hits cd. yay. and we have to get something else at best buy. then something at barned and noble. for mr.calvin-and-hobbes-junkie. lol. things are looking up. when this morning everything felt fake and surreal. RUB A DUB DUB, THANKS FOR THE GRUB. YEAH GOD. lol. family guy. the daddy, the junior and the spook. mary the cherry. 12 commandments, 10 deciples. i prolly mispelled that. i remember 'stoned off his ass' but i dont remember who. oh well. it was still a funny email. loves to all. i have 5 mins till i get to see my baby.