If I could

if i could tell you i love you, every waking moment, i would.
if i could take back all the mistakes ive made, i would.
if i could save you from any pain you could feel, i would.
if i could help your mom understand what we're going through, i would.
if i could hold on to you forever and make you feel safe, i would.
if i could kiss away your tears and sadness, i would.
if i could convince the lord to bestow upon you eternal happiness, i would.
if i could do it myself, i would.
if i could sing a sweet lullaby to ease the world away, i would.
if i could give you everything youve always wanted, i would.
if i could love you forever, i would, and i already do.
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Dear Lord,
Please hear my prayer. I never meant to do the things I did today. The amount of rules I broke and disrespect I showed are immeasurable. I did it out of love for Phil and I only wanted to make him happy. That's It Lord. Im thankful that I got to see him smile again. But I wish I would have controlled myself and not done it at all. I pray that you will make life easy for Phil while we wait this out. I beg you to help Phils mom understand whats happening and help her get through whatever problems shes facing. I did not mean to disrespect his Mom, or anyone else. I just want him happy Lord. Thats All I Ask.
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so. everything worked out as planned except a few road bumps in the process. and even tho i spent the rest of the day happy......he got in trouble. again. its my fault. again. i wish i could re-do this day and just spend it going thru school like normal. i fear ill never see his face again.
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i love phillip james luebbert. always and forever.