Shit

Well, callen found the link to the matt blog. and he took it the wrong way. the way i didnt want him to take it. which means....dun dun dun.....im screwed. callen's gonna think im cheating on him and then ill be stuck with a guy who only wants sex and never listens. so. bcuz matt wont go away and leave me alone...the one person whom i treasure most will leave me. maybe i do need a nap. i need a pill, a shot and a nap. that would help. dad will be here in 20 and i cant wait. ive never been so happy to go home. callen will never understand the complications of my mind and matt's mind. shit i never understand either minds. i guess, i woe an apology. im sorry you had to find that blog callen. if only you knew. sigh. im royally screwed. guess this means that metal is a friend again. YES. finally. something ive longed for. the only downside to love. but, within this.........i love you callen. and i always will. you hold a special place in my heart, the very center. you've made me happy and ill always treasure how you make me smile. im sorry you had to find that link. even if you do understand, i supose youll never trust me. the way you handle this, your decision, is your choice, and ill go with it, just understand, ill miss you. and just bcuz i lie to some people, doesnt mean id lie to an angel.

*with that, her tears fell with the weight of mourning, onto her pillow and sank into the sheeted cotton like the sorrow she felt in her heart. her soul had died that day and no one noticed, and no one cared. she would leave herself there, forever more, to cry her soul unto the pillow, on which she lay*