Rant
CAUTION: THIS POST IS A RANT AND IS UNSAFE TO HUMAN EARS OF ANYONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
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I really fucking hate this. nothing feels right. i cant do anything right for anyone. i cant even show callen that i appreciate him. and its resulted in a shit load more of new cuts. and, sadly, im not sure if i feel guilty about them. thats bad. today, i started crying about jared. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? i love callen and appreciate everything he's done for me. and i dont think i could ever find a more wonderful human being. why am i crying about jared? wanna know why? bcuz i am really fucked up. i hate it. i dont really miss jared, i just miss...idk....i dont miss anything about him. i dont know why i said that, but, it sounded right. but it isnt. im sorry. BUT FUCK. my arm will be all cuts by the end of the weekend. let alone summer. im FUCKING SICK OF MY FUCKED UP HEAD. I FUCKING HATE IT! i want back in the hospital. im starting to believe ill do anything to get in there. but id miss callen. sigh. dear matt: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. ive been longing to say that for so long. im not good enough for callen. i just realised that. i feel so down and put out right now. and dad ordered davinci's. so im gonna eat, watch a sad movie and cry myself to sleep cuz i truly feel like shit. i need a hug.
----------------------------------------------------
I really fucking hate this. nothing feels right. i cant do anything right for anyone. i cant even show callen that i appreciate him. and its resulted in a shit load more of new cuts. and, sadly, im not sure if i feel guilty about them. thats bad. today, i started crying about jared. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? i love callen and appreciate everything he's done for me. and i dont think i could ever find a more wonderful human being. why am i crying about jared? wanna know why? bcuz i am really fucked up. i hate it. i dont really miss jared, i just miss...idk....i dont miss anything about him. i dont know why i said that, but, it sounded right. but it isnt. im sorry. BUT FUCK. my arm will be all cuts by the end of the weekend. let alone summer. im FUCKING SICK OF MY FUCKED UP HEAD. I FUCKING HATE IT! i want back in the hospital. im starting to believe ill do anything to get in there. but id miss callen. sigh. dear matt: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. ive been longing to say that for so long. im not good enough for callen. i just realised that. i feel so down and put out right now. and dad ordered davinci's. so im gonna eat, watch a sad movie and cry myself to sleep cuz i truly feel like shit. i need a hug.
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