Cutting

i really wish some of you fuckers would understand. none of you do. derek tried, and he deserves the world for it. the rest of you just say 'no dont do it, i cant stand to see you in pain' well fuck all of you! FUCK YOU. DO YOU HEAR ME? IM GIVING YOU THE FINGER RIGHT NOW. **derek, i have a picture for you to post** im not allowd to do something that rids the worst pain of all *self hatred* and you expect me to take it kindly when you do? without fucking calling? dude. YOU KNOW MY DAD'S CELL NUMBER. ugh. i should cut, all over, everywhere, just to pay you back. matt was the one who told me to read ur blog too. i cried. thanks alot. ruin my fucking weekend. GOD DAMNIT. I DONT WANNA SAY IM YOURS. NOT WHEN YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS. FUCK!
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matthew charles schock, i swear to god if you tell me to keep my shit together i will fucking cut off your balls and replace them with raisins.
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derek hasnt talked to me much, he has school. and callen's being a depressed fuckhead. and im a total bitch. got any questions? bcuz my life sucks! but, im dying my highlights pink! WOOT AND SUCH! and im listening to counting crows *thanks david* damn you. dad bought me post mortem by patricia cornwell which will keep me occupied during the drive so i dont start singing Baby Shark. lol. im trying to be happy. so dont shoot me ok? im fucking depressed. derek's post made me a little happy. its good to see people staying themselves. unlike how im able to be. damnit. fuck this shit. i fucking hate all of it. FUCK YOU.