Nothing
so, im depressed. i feel like i pressured him into saying something that he prolly never wanted to say. and in the mean time tim's heart was breaking. and when tim's heart breaks, so does mine. im so torn, between two dreams, two things that i HAVE had predicted:
a musical life with tim, id be more of a lovers in a band thing between us. i'd be a little held down by his love, true. i'd be able to trust him, and id know he's one of the few ppl who would be dedicated to a band AND ME. but he'd lose intrest. i know it sounds like he wouldnt, but he would, he'd still want a band tho.
.
a more sweet romantic life with phil would be the second one. him and i are more connected thru the many things we have in common yet disagree on and we'd ahve alot of adorable arguments with make-up sessions following. where he wouldnt be as focussed on a band or a musical career, he would enjoy more of the precious things like little songs and poems and lymrics and be able to laugh a little easier.
.
thanks mom. lol. im gonna call mom instead of email her today. i really wanna tlak to her. idk y. maybe its cuz of dustin. yeah, i went with ashley last ngiht and my dad wanted to speak with ashley's mom to make sure i was at ashley's by 11. so we called by dad with ashley's cell at 11 and she pretended to be her mom while josh and dustin's drunk asses laughed really hard. it was great. we ate jelly beans and watched school of rock. OMG. the one led zeppelin song that got me hooked *t.i.s.* is in it. lmao. i was singing along and everyone was looking at me funny. it was great. we went to dustin's and i fell asleep. he woke me up when he was in a towwl. i screamed. lol. then his sister and these other girls and his mom and i were hanging out with joshy and fighting and shit. it was great. i wish i was that close to my mom. it pisses me off that she's not here like everyone else's moms are. i mean, my mom will tackle and tickle my brother but she doesnt tease me like that. that makes me depressed. but im still happy. i still feel like i pressured phil into sayign 'IT' and omg. idk. i love him so much tho. he's like, bad ass but sweet to me. and he's adorable and cute but very, well, very very sexy at the same time. he's got this and that of everything. im kinda sick of tim rubbing salt in the wound i inflicted upon myself by falling in love with phil. but thats life right folks? omg. i get the 2nd greatest bday gift ever *i shall not speak of the number one bcuz it will never happen and some people would get confused, maybe ill say it in janurary* but, yes, DEREK'S COMING INTO LINCOLN ON THE 20TH. ON MY BIRTHDAY. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. IM SO EXCITED. I GET TO SEE DEREK. AND PHIL, TIM AND I ARE GONNA LET HIM MEET RICK. LMAO. im sooo excited. i cant wait. ive wanted to meet derek for so long. omg omg omg. lol. im so happy. i just burped and it tasted like chocolate. dark chocolate. they ahve these caramels things, in liek, 2 dollar bags right, at walgreens. and it's creamy caramel covered in dark chocolate. OMFG I ALMOST ORGASMED. but i didnt buy em. i crave dark chocolate so badly. oh well. anyways. im gonna go call mes amies phil et tim. au revoir et a bien t'ot! je t'aime. aime Brittni
a musical life with tim, id be more of a lovers in a band thing between us. i'd be a little held down by his love, true. i'd be able to trust him, and id know he's one of the few ppl who would be dedicated to a band AND ME. but he'd lose intrest. i know it sounds like he wouldnt, but he would, he'd still want a band tho.
.
a more sweet romantic life with phil would be the second one. him and i are more connected thru the many things we have in common yet disagree on and we'd ahve alot of adorable arguments with make-up sessions following. where he wouldnt be as focussed on a band or a musical career, he would enjoy more of the precious things like little songs and poems and lymrics and be able to laugh a little easier.
.
thanks mom. lol. im gonna call mom instead of email her today. i really wanna tlak to her. idk y. maybe its cuz of dustin. yeah, i went with ashley last ngiht and my dad wanted to speak with ashley's mom to make sure i was at ashley's by 11. so we called by dad with ashley's cell at 11 and she pretended to be her mom while josh and dustin's drunk asses laughed really hard. it was great. we ate jelly beans and watched school of rock. OMG. the one led zeppelin song that got me hooked *t.i.s.* is in it. lmao. i was singing along and everyone was looking at me funny. it was great. we went to dustin's and i fell asleep. he woke me up when he was in a towwl. i screamed. lol. then his sister and these other girls and his mom and i were hanging out with joshy and fighting and shit. it was great. i wish i was that close to my mom. it pisses me off that she's not here like everyone else's moms are. i mean, my mom will tackle and tickle my brother but she doesnt tease me like that. that makes me depressed. but im still happy. i still feel like i pressured phil into sayign 'IT' and omg. idk. i love him so much tho. he's like, bad ass but sweet to me. and he's adorable and cute but very, well, very very sexy at the same time. he's got this and that of everything. im kinda sick of tim rubbing salt in the wound i inflicted upon myself by falling in love with phil. but thats life right folks? omg. i get the 2nd greatest bday gift ever *i shall not speak of the number one bcuz it will never happen and some people would get confused, maybe ill say it in janurary* but, yes, DEREK'S COMING INTO LINCOLN ON THE 20TH. ON MY BIRTHDAY. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. IM SO EXCITED. I GET TO SEE DEREK. AND PHIL, TIM AND I ARE GONNA LET HIM MEET RICK. LMAO. im sooo excited. i cant wait. ive wanted to meet derek for so long. omg omg omg. lol. im so happy. i just burped and it tasted like chocolate. dark chocolate. they ahve these caramels things, in liek, 2 dollar bags right, at walgreens. and it's creamy caramel covered in dark chocolate. OMFG I ALMOST ORGASMED. but i didnt buy em. i crave dark chocolate so badly. oh well. anyways. im gonna go call mes amies phil et tim. au revoir et a bien t'ot! je t'aime. aime Brittni
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