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my good mood was totally shot out of the sky just now. im so sry derek. its so good that you can stand up for yourself against him and that shows that he doesnt control you and that you are you're own person. im so proud of you. and i guess saying that makes me happier then i was a minute ago, but, man, i feel bad now cuz i had such a fun new years. you know i love you derek, right? and even tho my sorry ass cant be in mccook, you can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS email me. period. altho no one ever realises this *ahem....mike* lol. i still love you both. i tried calling phil, he wont be home till six tonight. sigh. how shitty is that. he was at tims i think, maybe mikes or dolton's or SOMETHING. it made me sad, so i called kirby, bitch was sick and sleeping, so i called dustin and he raised me spirits cuz i was feeling kinda crappy. i had just watched Passion. omg. im still agnostic, but omg. that isnt a movie, idk wut it is. its amazing. and i hate having second thoughts about something i stand up for, but it couldnt hurt to atleast READ the bibble could it? i mean, dad's got a bibble. i might. but that movie, i so want to own. derek's prolly frowning at me, but im sorry, its a good movie. oddly, im jealousof the cuts. they looked so not cool, but, idk, lovely. i wish i could cut myself that deep. but i cried like crazy. it was weird. my mom knows im not religious and i think KB knows too. thats why they pushed me to watch it. i had some apple pie and hot cocoa during it, and afterwards, after i got off the fone with dustin, i went into the bathroom and felt really sick. i didnt throw up or anything, but i was sick. i g2g and see RAY! AND AUSTIN AND LIDS AND STEPH AND GEORGE *jordyn* lol. i love you derek, and ill try calling you tonight. love you phil, if you read this anymore. loves to everyone else including mike.