rain
the rain sounds like its right next to me. like it was on monday. the thunder is angry and i cant see the changes in the light anymore. the rain was angry for a little while too. i like it. but i ruin the natural sounds with dane cook.
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im so happy. DrM and i talked last night for so long! we even sat on the hood of his ghetto car. i feel kinda bad about the whole monica thing but him and i decided to leave that alone. umm, we talked about me alot which makes me kinda......mad. idk y. i realised how much i love myself.....and the fact that im afriad to show it to the people that matter. oh, and the envy, the worthlessness. but every time we talk, and i cry, i feel a little more special. i feel loved and special and cared for and all that jazz. i felt like something bad was leaving me. i was glad to have somebody's eyes meet mine when i look up from crying. im glad to have someone to tell me its ok to cry, and then when i do it, he makes a wis crack about his damn baseball uniform.....LOL CLAIRE!.
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i saw my first lns baseball game today. and my first highschool baseball game. lns reserve vs lincoln high reserve. we won. idk the score. DrM pitched 3 out of 4 innings i think it was. i got there just before he started pitching too, it was great. we did awesome. and sabrina gave her number to the #9 player from lincoln high. lol. he wasnt cute. and his face was covered in FRECKLES! omg. they were huge. only like skin cancer things. of course, claire was molested as soon as we got there by erika. aka muchachikie. aka balloon-penis with stone-balls. lol. there's a home game thursday! WOOT! but DrM dont pitch and idk if monicas going. i KNOW claire is. woot. and then a game saturday. and then next monday we're going to see JV play against pius. yes! hopefully sabrina isnt going to all the ones we plan to visit. that wouldnt be too cool. shes trying to join our road-trip to amityville this summer. but. yeah, claire and i are kinda becoming baseball junkies. only cuz she wants to see jordan tho. omg, DrM and i kinda had this silent convo from his bunch to the bleachers and you could see kyle's face get all red and contorted. lmao. it was hilarious. omfg. baseball pants = VISABLE BULGE! hahahaha. and of course DrM madee his obvious and stood sideways to sabrina, claire and i and had his fists behind his hips. lol. omfg. it was hilarious. sabrina and i would look over and BOOM there's a huge bulge in our god damn way and we'd laugh so hard. but then, we'd stop. or atleast i did cuz i was sick of having my vision blinded by bulges. sabrina nicknamed DrM Tripod. lol. claire and i christened him Biggie. then, DrM was taking claire and i home, and on the way, we were in front of sabrina and i went to stick my hand out of my window to wave behind us ya know? BOOM! muthafuckin nigger! i acctually said that too, right by lincoln high. i had punched the glass. go me. damnit.
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today? gotta be happy and write a shitload of notes. acctually, one a period. somehow, i also have to get money to eat breakfast with and my dad's digi-camera to take pictures with. WOOT X10! im so happy.
.
he told me everything i wanted to hear. and we were both honest.
.
i love this.
love you phil
.
im so happy. DrM and i talked last night for so long! we even sat on the hood of his ghetto car. i feel kinda bad about the whole monica thing but him and i decided to leave that alone. umm, we talked about me alot which makes me kinda......mad. idk y. i realised how much i love myself.....and the fact that im afriad to show it to the people that matter. oh, and the envy, the worthlessness. but every time we talk, and i cry, i feel a little more special. i feel loved and special and cared for and all that jazz. i felt like something bad was leaving me. i was glad to have somebody's eyes meet mine when i look up from crying. im glad to have someone to tell me its ok to cry, and then when i do it, he makes a wis crack about his damn baseball uniform.....LOL CLAIRE!.
.
i saw my first lns baseball game today. and my first highschool baseball game. lns reserve vs lincoln high reserve. we won. idk the score. DrM pitched 3 out of 4 innings i think it was. i got there just before he started pitching too, it was great. we did awesome. and sabrina gave her number to the #9 player from lincoln high. lol. he wasnt cute. and his face was covered in FRECKLES! omg. they were huge. only like skin cancer things. of course, claire was molested as soon as we got there by erika. aka muchachikie. aka balloon-penis with stone-balls. lol. there's a home game thursday! WOOT! but DrM dont pitch and idk if monicas going. i KNOW claire is. woot. and then a game saturday. and then next monday we're going to see JV play against pius. yes! hopefully sabrina isnt going to all the ones we plan to visit. that wouldnt be too cool. shes trying to join our road-trip to amityville this summer. but. yeah, claire and i are kinda becoming baseball junkies. only cuz she wants to see jordan tho. omg, DrM and i kinda had this silent convo from his bunch to the bleachers and you could see kyle's face get all red and contorted. lmao. it was hilarious. omfg. baseball pants = VISABLE BULGE! hahahaha. and of course DrM madee his obvious and stood sideways to sabrina, claire and i and had his fists behind his hips. lol. omfg. it was hilarious. sabrina and i would look over and BOOM there's a huge bulge in our god damn way and we'd laugh so hard. but then, we'd stop. or atleast i did cuz i was sick of having my vision blinded by bulges. sabrina nicknamed DrM Tripod. lol. claire and i christened him Biggie. then, DrM was taking claire and i home, and on the way, we were in front of sabrina and i went to stick my hand out of my window to wave behind us ya know? BOOM! muthafuckin nigger! i acctually said that too, right by lincoln high. i had punched the glass. go me. damnit.
.
today? gotta be happy and write a shitload of notes. acctually, one a period. somehow, i also have to get money to eat breakfast with and my dad's digi-camera to take pictures with. WOOT X10! im so happy.
.
he told me everything i wanted to hear. and we were both honest.
.
i love this.
love you phil
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