Beauty

the beauty of it all. it's wonderful. he understood. i couldnt feel better. yes, acctually i could. i am scared. scared. once again : i feel scared. i am in love with callen. yes. but. he's so.....new at everything. he's never been is a relationship like this one, as far as i know. his heart has never broken. he's never been broken to the point of wanting to fix it by wanting to end it. i will never forgive myself if i do anything to hurt him. i will be forced to lay my head back, and kill myself. and i wouldnt call it suicide, id call it love-enduced murder.

In the end,
I could rest my head on your chest
Slit my throat
Tell you in my one last dying breath
That Im sorry
For bleeding on your shirt.
For a heart so untainted,
Pure
I couldnt hurt it, Id die
To hear you cry.
The end, with tears.
Rip the soul to shreds,
Carry it away
To my grave.
Never could I help it,
To see
You cry,
To die today,
Wouldnt be so bad, Id be happy,
Knowing I could never hurt you again.
But thats only an
If
Statement. One that Ill never get away with.
Dont worry sweet angel, Ill take care of you,
Hold you on a bed of clouds,
Place you at Heaven's gate.
My sweet Angel, who loves me truly.

a poem. a good one. ive been writing tons. in the darkness of my room at 2am. so, i can read some of them, ill post em. sound good? hope so. im still scared, but its a good thing. being scared shitless 24/7 and paranoid for every hour will take care of me. with this kinda of hurting paranoia, i couldnt ever hurt him. he knows this. im forever grateful.