Sunday, August 22, 2004

Des Moines

i am so fucking shitty right now. callen and i got into a fite and he cut himself so i did too. ill post a picture on here *with derek's help of course* and show you all my cuts. *plz dont im me and say how i shouldnt do it and your sorry and what not, i will ignore it* and i took too many wellbutrin *my old meds that put me in the hospital* so ive been a bitch all weekend and everyone pissed me off. and then, i finally get up the courage to go to the pool *ouchies for the cuts rite?* and there was so many ppl that i was very self concious about my tummy and i hadnt shaved for *one* day. and i was just so nervous bcuz my boobs are too big and i cant find a swimsuit to fit me and im so fucking fat you couldnt believe it *plz, once again, dont im me and tell me how 'pretty' i am and what not, few people have convinced it of me including my aunty thing , dani's mom* and i was just so fucking shy to get in there. when i about did, these two college guys got in the hottub and so did this really really pretty girl. she was tan, blonde, skinny, and just so pretty. so i put on my pj pants and walked out. nana was pissed bcuz i woudnt talk and mike was about to laugh. GOD DAMNIT. im so pissed again. so i went to the second floor and then sat in a fucking corner for about an hour and a half and just cried and cried and cried. i was so pissed at myself. i couldnt please my family and i couldnt be who i thought i should be. so i had a very shitty nite.
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i did have many laughs. the feces thing. and we were all taking in heluim from the balloons at granite city. and that was hilarious. and dinner was ok. the waitress dropped a wing on the floor. lol. and umm, we got SOAKED on the river rage raft ride thingy. we were soaked. literally. ive never gotten that wet. until today cuz EVRY fucking little kid was trhowing ballons at me *water balloons* and dumping buckets of water on me. and even callen and jason and tony were getting me wet. and the pie uncle wayne made was delicious. you can send text messages online to cricket users from the cricket website. well. i dont have much else to say except jordan might do a tattoo and i DONT want callen there. hed freak out, seeing me in pain and would not trust the people who are doing it. so fuck that. im sorry callen but you HAVE to understand otherwise well end up having a big understanding.
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love you guys.
ttyl
-Brittni

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