Empty

been listening to lp-jz lately. pretty good. tyler would have loved this cd. he would have. i figured out who the christina bitch is that talked all those lies to the paper. its bullshit. katie, stina and i are after her fat ugly ass. she wouldnt be seen at the public pool, everybody would wonder how the whale escaped from the fucking zoo. he wouldnt call her cute, shit, he didnt even call me cute, and i look like carmen electra compared to her. so fuck that fat ugly bitch. i miss tyler. and phil. i need phil so much right now and nobody understands that. nor do they understand i need alone time. im too catatonic to cry. im too paranoid to cry. too scared. too worried about other ppl interupting me. i fucking hate this. wellbutrin doesnt help. i feel so empty. my brain is empty. i just sit and stare. sit, stare and cry. cry, if im lucky. im so empty. and i see visions of tyler. literally. and i cry. i yell at teachers and get my ass in trouble. i hate this. i wanna die. i want those meds to kill me. i want to, like, have, something taken out of me so im ok. heartaches preventing my breathing still. i wrote two poems and two letters today. moral: dont o.d. on wellbutrin. its painful. and dont tell anyone either.