Death

i almost died.
and im intoxicated.
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on the way to billy r's monica (driving) decided to make a U-y and didnt complete and had to back up adn we almost got hit. then., turning from highway 2 onto 91st, going 70, we attempted to make a last minute turn and skidded to a stop 3 feet from a light pole. right in front of billys house. talk about a grand entrance.
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nana fed me three wine coolers.
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phil bit my lip and its now swollen and painful to touch.
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wednesday will rock.
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<3 Brittni

Down Down in an Earlier Round

A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.

DAMN YOU BILLY RENTSCHLER! YOU AND YOUR LIKING OF FALL OUT BOY! gah. lol.
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dylan's game is tuesday. p&bs is wed and fri. dad says i cant go to all. heres the tricky part: i can prolly only go to two but, do i go to both of phils or skip one for dylans game????? idk. if im lucky ill convince him to let me go to all.
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so last night, while i was sleeping at phils, billy left me some IMs sayign we need to hang out. so im like SWEET. so i eventually get ahold of him and we decide on star wars. the date has been further post-poned to this weekend. lol. instead of tuesday. unless he wants to go to dylans game with claire and i. but, i thinks its phil, me, billy, and maybe claire and dylan? we dont know about kaley cuz things arent going great for them. but this week sounds fun. billy rocks. i guess his arm is infected. lol. poor guy. AND I TOUCHED IT! maybe im infected! JUST KIDDING. lol. family is expected over anytime after an hour from now. lol. and im not ready. and branden snyder keeps calling. he called at like 10 am this morning. wtf!?!?!! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! im suposed to call billy. will i ahve time? cuz im expecting phil to call at anytime. he better come. or ill be sad and bored. hmmmm, what to wear? mmmm, grand theft autumn. i dont want to be with my family today. its not too cool. acctually, it sucks. i have to get ready soon and dads bitching and moaning and its reallllly old. you wanna know my kinda band? The Pussycat Dolls. lol. the song reminds me of me......and some certain freshman i know who seem to have an 'interest' in me, as claire puts it. but not just dylan. lol. wtf is up with my scalp? lol. damn you denorex. oh well. ill fix it. somehow. i want subway and/or chinese but i gotta wait till wednesday. which is, holy hell, two days away. I GET TO SEE PHIL, BILYL, AND DYLAN IN TWO DAYS. lol. we decided that billy is meeting us at dylan's house for a while. monica doesnt want chinese. :( thats sad. she prolyl wants to go buy a scrapbook on wednesday. fuck that. mmmmmmmmmmm dark chocolate. lol. mikes looking at my yearbook and ive got Crush A Lot playing. lol. id SWEAR that was emmy. omg. emmy, the guy at the party ya know, looks just like the weather guy from anchorman. well, im gonna go. derek......HOW THE FUCK DO I POST A VIDEO ON MY BLOG? love you guys
-Brittni
aka
Babers <3

Sugar

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it.
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ill type all about fri and sat tonight after phils game and such.
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back from phils. he won 11-3. YAY FOR PHIL!
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friday: we had to have callen take us to nicks which took us an hour to find. phil couldnt make it but we ended up talking to emmy. and eventually had some beer, a whiskey shot and smoked some weed. it was good times. nick was funny. talk about punk rock parents. lol. we fell asleep on nick's basement floor at 4am and got up at 8. then, walked to the gas statio and spent an hour and 20 mins waiting for monica to come get us, we took calire home, and eventaully ended up at phil and billy's game. heres the pics: or some:


^phil sliding in
baseball game was fun with monica. she made it a little more enjoyable. and afterwards we went to phils and hung out in his driveway. i did my E.T. impression and phil gave me a rose. (im drying it out on my tv) and we left just before his parents got home and monica and i went to a crafts store to look at scarpbooking stuff. and went back to phils once his parents were gone. phil and i fucked on his bed and then i joined him in his shower. lol. it was.........good lord. lol. UBER CENSOR lol but it was fun. we eventually left after i had a small crying spell. monica and i came home but on the way ran into reece charlebois and brian crawford. stopped my matt s's house and stopped at walgreen. 99 CENTS FOR A GOD DAMN 6OZ DARK CHOCOLATE BAR. FUCKING SWEET! it was god. monica stayed the night. and claire came over for a while. and on monica and my way home we saw ian who was drunk and he sang me an emo song. lol. then we went home and took a shit load of funny ass pictures....here's a taste:
(p.s. when we left phils....monica hit his mailbox and the screws were out so the mailBOX itself came off. lol.)

word. bed at 2 up at 11. cleaned. a shit load. got ready adn went to phils baseball game. billy pitched and it was good. 11-2. woot. and i went to phils and fell asleep on his bed while he showered *his dad was home* and then he woke me and i fell asleep again a dreamed there was a demon in his sockdrawer. lol. phil bit my lip and its still sore. lol. it was good times.
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billy liked my shirt i made that says :
LUEBY
7
BILLY
1
its really cute acctually. im glad he liked it. he looked cute today, he had the Angry Pitcher face going on. it was awesome. the rain and clouds fucking ruined my fun at the baseball game. so i called claire to keep myself awake. my next seven days? tom: family party, phil arrives at three when he gets back from seeing his gpa. tues: finals, then dylans game and maybe star wars *with billy who plans to invite phil and taylor? hopefully not* wed:finals, chinese, dylans house, phils game thurs:idk fri:phils game, maybe a party afterwards? sat:idk yet party today instead of fri sun:idk that either. im excited tho. billy looks so cute as a pitcher.
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i love you lueby. and your baseball pants.
.
<3 Brittni
aka
Babers

Quick

type quickly brittni

OK!

GO!

PARTY LAST NIGHT. NO PHIL. NICK GAVE US WHISKEY SHOTS. sry about caps. claire and i smoked too. and we passed out. monica picked us up. mon and i went to baseball game for phil. 6-14. too bad. took tons of pics and movie clips. derek? how to post movie clip? and then we hung out in phils driveway. then. craft store where monica was on crack. then i went to phils. we went to shopko. i took pics of phil in a towle after him and fucked and showered together. it was soo good. i cried tho. life is ok tho./ ribs for dinner. still with THE G and im happy. i love phil adn we're gonna get married. end of story mutha fucka! and and and i love phil, nicks parties, whiskey shots and when claires not a bitch.


i wanna watch office space and wake up next to you in the morning.

i love you pooooookie er i mean tacky!
-your foxy lady

Hero

the movie was so much fun. we got down there, bought tix, connor showed up, we got starbucks and amigos, finally rick, owen and phil showed up (owen=td) and it was much fun. owen kept poking me and it kinda got annoying. claire got phil p's number. lol. and rick was QUITE entertaining. we decided there's a claire, brittni, rick and phil campout next weekend. nick's party is tonight and i dont know where it is. but claire, phil and i are going and monica is picking us up. we might have to walk there tonight. it might suck. ill figure out a way tho. tomorrow? phils game and geometry extra credit. sunday? family party. phil has baseball at 5 but idk if i can go. hopefully he can stop by the party tho. i think it starts at 11 tho. who knows? i dont.
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phils gpa isnt responding. i feel horrible. why? bcuz i cant console people. i have no idea how to comfort someone bcuz nobody ever comes to me with their problems. i hate it. i have no idea how im gonna make phil feel better if anything bad happens. honestly, its not as horrible as i make it sound bcuz he's an elder and its only natural. and i feel bad for thinking that cuz its his gpa. and horribly, i feel like phil is, idk, overreacting. half of me agrees with that. the other half? pitties phil x10000. i dont know what its like to have a gpa die. ones dead already bcuz of cancer (which runs in the family so im really scared bcuz i have a mole and i almost picked it off and my dad said i could get cancer) and the other gpa, well, he sucks. he stopped talking to me and my mom for 7 years. and i hardly know him. he lives in geneseo. and now my mom and her mom arent talking so if she died, idk when id find out. i wouldnt cry as much over gpa butch. gma bonnie? prolly. nana? id die. idk. tyler seemed closer to me then anyone at that point. in november, tyler was my best friend and phil and i were getting to know each other so ya know? and he died. my bestfriend. idk what im gonna do! i was sobbing again last night. i hate death. phil is gonna be so depressed, and depressed men are scary and make me afraid. like, theyll get so incredibly angry and idk, but do something stupid. ahhh, idk what im saying. but i cried last ngiht, not only for phil and his gpa BUT I MISS TYLER. I MISS HIM AND I WANT HIM BACK. i hate this.
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je prieair pour lui.
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here's some lyrics: mainly for phil.
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Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you.
It isn't the love of a hero, that's why I fear it won't do.
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We're out of time and I can't breathe [x4]
I told you not to believe in me
'Cause all I do is push you far away from me
All I do is push you far away from me

I'm gonna make this work
I'm gonna change everything wrong with me
I'm gonna prove you wrong
when I meet you in another life
Over again
.
i love you phil.
.
see you tonight ;)
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omg i have butterflies. please god, for tonight, let this work!
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p.s. claire thinks rick os one of the hottest guys shes ever seen.
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p.p.s. im gonna fial world history. and im crying already and i havent failed yet. idk what to do. i hate myself. shoot me. slap me. beat me. i hate me. IM GONNA FAIL AND IM CRYING AND I DONT WANT TO FAIL.

STar Wars

no billy
no dylan
SO RICK
and maybe TD


wish me luck

;)

Things Ill Never Say

i know its an avril song, but its SO good. somebody slap me.
Things I'll Never Say:
I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

[Pre-Chorus]
(Cause) I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If it ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

[Pre-Chorus]

Guess I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say
These things I’ll never say
.
it sounds kinda like a piece i wrote yesterday. i wrote one of the greatest poems ever. no real point to it except to think. but i like it. idc if you do or not. ill post it someday. but, this post will be short so i can write for creative writing. sound good? lol. dad and i got into another row last night and phil was listening cuz i told him to hold on and placed the phone on my bed. i feel so horrible. i cant believe he heard that. i went to bed sobbing. my sobbing was my nightly lullaby. i wasnt crying. i was sobbing, with the deep throaty gulping sounds you make when you cry so horribly because you're so desperate, and so alone and so pathetic. ive only cried like that about two other times. tyler and one of my fights with phil. dad bought me coffee at BP this morning. and im collecting the regular sized bags of m&ms dark chocolate. they have cute little things on the inside of the bag. lol. i <3 them. and im listening to the only evanescence song i like.....my immortal. so sad. so beautiful. Manon de Source, the movie, is so wonderful. i want the movies (Jean De Florette and Manon de Source) they are beautiful. i love european/french movies. hardly ever a happy ending. i prefer the beauty of the story, not the ending. YAY FOR SAD ENDINGS. lol. star was tonight. no billy. dylans going i guess. you know who i havent seen since feb? dylan a. lol. daltons in my yearbook. AWWW. hes such a cutie in a tux. lol. my yearbook rocks. lol. only cuz im in it four times, otherwise id hate it with a deep deep fiery passion. but stacy signed it and i kinda feel cool now. STAR WARS omg im so excited lol. ive decided on my third fave character! GENERAL GRIEVOUS. third to obi-wan and anakin is second to nobody. ani.obiwan.general grievous.r2.yoda. top 5. life is ok today. the campout is tomorrow and we have a ride home. everythings going GREAT. i get to see phil tonight. claire's excited about seeing dylan and i am too, kinda. and im getting photos. how sweet! i know. je suis tres heureusse! lol. i gotta go now. <3
-DARTH BABERS lol.


Je prierai pour toi.

Fuck all those kisses

fuck you ho, i dont want you back.
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good song.
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im kinda mad/sad with phil. now im listening to My Immortal. sad song. what phil said hurt so much. ive decided to call him ALOT less, and basically, only when i have news.
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star wars thursday. billy and kaley MIGHT go. i need to get billy a gift. idk what tho. ill buy him a hemp necklace. sound cool? prolly not. claire and monica are going FOR SURE. timmy? maybe. connor? maybe. itll rock tho.
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tonight? SUPER busy. i have late geometry assignments due. about 6 of them. i have to do them, and type my book report since tomorrow ill be at the movies. i have 5 extra credit assignments due on wednesday for geometry which, along with the late work being made up and atleast a B on my final, ill have a B in the class. a first. i usually only have Cs and Ds. idk about world history and HOPEFULLY mrs nelson-hitz will excuse me from civics once i finish these movies. i have 13 minutes till lunch detention. OMFG! I GOT A 66/72 ON MY GEOMETRY TEST! I GOT AN 'A'! THE ONLY IN THE CLASS. im so effing happy. you have no idea. lol. god im happy.
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stupid assembly after school.
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im sunburnt. even on my legs.
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i had the dark chocolate m&ms.........yummy.
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i miss phil.
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and i have two GENIUS ideas for writing for 8th period. sweet no? 5 days left of school. im exhausted but im happy. i need like, uberenergy around 4pm today so i fall asleep tonight. NO pop today after lunch. none. i love phil.
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emailed martin yesterday.
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star map niggas.
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staind:
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 100%

Lust: 80%

Pride: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Wrath: 80%

Gluttony: 60%

Greed: 40%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 74%

You will die in a duel.

How Sinful Are You?

Your Star Wars Pickup Line

"Date, or date not -- there is no 'let's just friends be'."

What's Your Star Wars Pickup Line?

Your Star Wars Pickup Line

"In time, you will call me.....Master."

What's Your Star Wars Pickup Line?

Your Amazing Yoda Sex Line

"Ow, ow, OW! On my ear you are!"

The Amazing Yoda Sex Line Generator

You May Be a Bit Borderline ...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Civics

i have to finish my civics videos. im starting to think that mrs.nelson-hitz is gonna let me pass civics if i finish my videos. do you even KNOW how happy dad will be? im gonna watch all the videos this week when im not busy and test over everything and see if she'll let me finish. you know what amazes me......how many star wars terms relate to world history....storm troopers, viceroy, chancellor, lol. i finished picking my kids' names. * Kean Tyler(or james) Anakin Luebbert* and *Claire Desiree Satine Luebbert* there were other names i wanted to use tho. ewan, elijah, hayden *i know*, Lance, Jacoby, and even Liam. Kean Anakin Liam is cute but i kinda want to use Tyler. my kid's gonna have several middle names tho. he'll be cool. we have shortened class periods tomorrow, bcuz of an assembly. and, ive been doing shitloads of homework lately. and my geometry quiz went splendid! im nervous about my persuasive speech. and im wearing my green phil tanktop! lol. it turns out, michelle knows taylor! WTF. she disagrees with me more then is necessary. i fucking hate lunch detention! i cant wait to talk to the school officials about my house being egged. lol. we're so getting them ticketed. yesterday, i worked my ass off and i have a shitload of laundry and dishes to do tonight, along with studying, so im gonna be a busy little shit. yesterday, i worked myself well enough to earn 10 bucks. and with the laundry and dishes i do today, i should get 6. star wars for friday is cancelled. and phil might not be able to make it to the family deal on saturday/sunday. i wish i had somebody to go with me to star wars on friday :( lol. but, im mad at phils mom for saying he cant go bcuz 'theyll be at a wedding' WTF? THATS EVEN MORE REASON TO LET HIM COME. and my dad invited him. wtf? and i think im going crazy! ill explain later tho, ive only got a couple mins to check myspace. ttyl.
...
..
.
<3 Babers

word

claire wont wear her tanktop in school bcuz of her 'shoulders' but idc. im wearing phils hoodie tho. no game friday. just star wars. thursday, friday and maybe even sunday. im not sure. i'm making more LUEBBERT shirts, except some will say TACKY lol. i miss phil. and whats on my mind besides that? lol. im getting a new template soon. derek, if you dont mind, there's a quote i want in my template somewhere......ONLY THE SITH DEAL IN ABSOLUTES........lol. dont hurry on it tho. i asked somebody else to try too. maybe you can mash it with theirs if they do it. either way, its gonna be kick ass and im excited. so, by next monday i will hopefully have seen star wars 5 times. im aiming for 20 by the end of june. ill rpolly beat that tho. maybe mike evnen will go. i cant wait to see td and billy again. with billy its been forever and i only saw td for about 40 mins. oh well. i still cant believe claire and jerzy! ARGH! i g2g. loves

tear

sweet anger.

Star Wars

im collecting star wars photos. i've got a couple of joel edgerton who played owen lars and mostly ones of anakin being angry. im gonna try to find a star wars 3 template for my blog. mostly anakin prolly. i guess i turned phil into a star wars junkie. SWEET. i wish phil could get that angry. itd be hot. lol. i think im weird. cuz i find anakins anger to be sexy. somebody slap me. gonna see it again soon. maybe with td and billy and phil and kaley and claire? lets pray claire says yes! lol. loves.
.
<3
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p.s. who was sidius's master?

darlington lyrics

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret






<3.








im stuck on my own dirty little secret




off to see star wars again. making baseball shirts and taking photos tomorrow! i am in love with myself. <3.

Derek

dearest derek: hope to see you soon. sucks to my anal-retentive dad. i left a draft post on my blog for you to read....nobody else is to read it! youll love it! LOL! ok, so, we left school only to find out they called monicas mom and claires dad. claire's not in trouble, and im staying at her house. monicas in deep . buutttttt.......lol. anyways. she came over and we ate pizza, and sniffed pepper till we cried and were'nt ok for 20 mins. eventually got to claire's and by that time, TD was already there! talk about a shocker! woooo! :D so we hung out for about an hour. it was fun. plan to see him soon. dad doesnt want me to go to star wars tomorrow bcuz jason, told us on tuesday, that he had brendans party planned for 6pm. so idk if i can go now. PLEASE GOD! claire wants to sneak out to walgreens tonight, but im SO exhausted. there's no way i can stay up till after her mom gets here and goes to bed. no way in HELL. goodnight guys, im pooped.
.
love you phil!
.
-Babers

This day

i found the GREATEST picture of anakin. i HATE hen things dont go right but it worked btter then i thought. claire and i waited after lunch for monica to meet us and she didnt. it was funny tho. trying to avoid getting caught and shit. well, ONE teacher let out this huge, long fart. and THEN she moaned while wiping herself. LMAO. claire and i almost got caught cuz we laughed so long. my day is alot metter even tho im wlaking funny. my cramps are gone but i still plan on downing some ibuprofen when i get home. i get to see phil tonight AND TD! if monica can have the car for tonight. honestly, i changed my desktop of phil with a wallpaper from star wars 3. big fish is NOTHING compared to star wars 3. TOTAL ORGASM. lol. star wars 3 is like nerd-porn. i just got a pile of shit from one of the gator-aids and it was a minella folder and i thought it was a letter saying i was being expelled. lol. its just mike's homework! HAHAHA! silly me. omg. i hate to say this, i sound like i want to change phil, but sometimes, *yes its happened before, ive seen it before* sometimes, i wish hed get that look in his eyes like he knows what he wants, he hates that he wants it, but hes gonna do anything to have it. ala anakin. ive seen it before, or something like it. god was it hot too. i love phil tho. dont get me wrong. I CANT WAIT TILL SATURDAY. LET ALONE TONIGHT. I LOVE YOU ALL! *except ratt-faced, anal retentive matt and fatt, while-like, tragic liz*

<3 Babers

star wars

word homie. ok. yesterday, i couldnt blog cuz i ended up recieving punishment for fucking with fatty's locker. just so everyone knows......this is my journal and i can say w/e i want to, and none of this can be used against me if you were to print it out and turn it in to the school. you dont have to read this and im not sending it to anybody. i hate liz. and i hate matt. matt needs to be kicked in his face. *a driod did that to poor r2* lol. but, ive been cramping since yesterday, and the big one is hitting me right now. and i want to just lay down and sleep, but thats also bcuz i was up till 1 bcuz of STAR WARS. talk about the greatest star wars movie ever. lol. i cant wait to see it again! lol. jesus christ was anakin delicious. lol. until.....obiwan! grrr. lol. it had to be done. anyways. ill tell you the whole story once i see it with phil. but, i couldnt see derek yesterday and since i have in-school-lunch-detention for the rest of the school year, i cant have the party. so, claire, monica and i are leaving and hanging out. lol. derek......here we come. im about to go make the call. omg, yesterday, after school, claire, monica and i were walking to monicas car and matt and liz were in front of us and liz had pants on that said MAGIC on her ass, so claire says to monica and i "magic? girl your ass is more like TRAGIC!" LMAO! greatest thing ive ever heard. the movie we're watching in french is wonderful, and geometry rocked today. aaron said he was 'straight outta compton' lmao. worlds of fun on june 6th? possibly. ummm, its really expensive and super close to warped tour. so idk. i g2g, brb. omg i think i got caught calling ourselves in. i might just leave at lunch and then call from home. cuz we were hiding and calling the school as monica's mom and lanney showed up, and i didnt have a pass, so i told him i was looking for something i left outside and that mrs.nelson-hitx knew i was out and i said he could talk to her, and he said he would. so, once i was out of sight, i ran back to class and my heart is beating and im all sweaty and red and my stomach IS KILLING ME! when i took meds about 40 mins ago. 15 mins class is over, then lunch detention. fuckers. 10 mins. and my tummy is gonna make me die. i swear. it hurts and squeezes and hates me. it really does. omg, i can feel myself sweating and its annoying bcuz im so nervous. i need to calm down. but how am i gonna get out of school at lunch time? cuz i have to report straight to lunch detention, unless i do it REALLY fast. cuz, then, we can leave during 2nd lunch. or claire and i can hide out in the bathrooms until 12:30 but thats a long while and its easier to get caught. like, alot easier. ill just ran really fast outside during lunch and shit. im kinda depressed, only cuz i dont feel good and bcuz im soooo pooped. and the money i kept from my dad prolly has to go to gas for monica's car to pick up derek. omg, somebody in this room farted....i can smell it. GROSS. my speech has to be typed by monday, and i wont be in that class. sigh. i have all weekend. and, i really need a nap. we are SO going to derek's hotel or something. lol. i wish i coulld go home and sleep. we're hopefully gonna stop by TD's house tonight. its just claire, monica and i since there's no party. well, im gonna go. ttyl peeps. <3!

i hate oral comm. i hate chirac. i hate secularism. and i hate speeches. i miss phil. i miss my bed. and i miss food. thank god for creative writing next period. i get to eat. and listen to music. and im gonna cry. <3

AAR

i <3
re-discovering old bands that i used to love.
and flying V bass guitars.
and being wrong.
and afi's cover of HLAH
and sleeping
and late nights
and wasting my time with you
and sleeping on your couch while you do random things, like we're married
and dinner
and star wars.
and sleeping in class.
and being wrong.
.
i feel like poo. im poo-tastic. my head hurts im tired im coughing and sniffling im depressed and im anxious and stressed. it sucks. im too lazy to correct mistakes or even type correctly at all. i feel like i got 2 hours of sleep. like when i stayed the night with trevor. matt's lucky hes not here cuz tomorrow's gonna be A DAMN GOOD DAY. and i think thats all thats keeping me sane.....is seeing derek AND star wars. just thinking about seeing derek makes me excited. phil cant make it friday, we dont know if td can, nor do we know if billy or dylan can go. dont worry phil, claire invited dylan....not me. *icky* he prolly cant tho. im hoping atleast billy can, cuz itll be weird td, claire, monica and i. if im EXTRA lucky, derek's mom will allow him to come! HE GETS HERE TOMORROW. OMFG! lol. depending on where his hotel is, monica is driving me to see him after school, but im gonna call him tonight and make sure everything is in place and ok. my shoulders=strained and pained. they hurt so bad. im sick of sticking up for monica and making her feel better, today is about making me get thru and tomorrow, my cheeriness will spread like wildfire and ALMOST nothing can put it out. omfg, phil's dad is going to star wars with us. WTF?!?!! fucking hickey-nazi. im soooo like, sad. i had rootbeer, licorice, taffy, rice krispies and funyuns for breakfast. lol. and i feel like im gonna lose it. omg i wanna slap matt so badly. dirty, stinking, lying piece of shit he is! wow. i <3 this song. anypoooooo. today? studying and napping. early bedtime acctually. mike has his play. AND IM DOING LES MIS! DAD SAID I COULD! it's only 300. please let it be a play-only and not a musical. im praying. i g2g now. and cry during lunch. sigh. atleast i get to eat and listen to music in creative writing. shit, i didnt do my creative writing homework. oh, what to write about? a childhood moment fo sho! ttyl <3s
-Babers
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I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

AFI

holy shit! afi re-did Head Like A Hole. sweet. hella yeah. bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve. i miss phil. last night was fun. dad took claire, mike and i out to old chicago. claire and i had nachos. then we went to the crescent moon and i read second. then we left and got starbucks. we ordered two tall vanilla bean fraps, but could afford it, so claire bought a mint-mocha bottle frap. well, the cute barista guy had already started making the two VBFs and we got both! ;) sweet. we went back and listened to some teacher's poetry and mr barnacle. he sang Too Cool For Me and remembered all the words! it was quite fun. then we talked to josh morgan who was there and gave one of the teachers flowers. claire and i want up the street by old chicago to wait for/call my dad. once we finally got ahold of him *our tummys hurt really bad too and we were singing Every Rose Has Its Thorn* and we talked to josh while alex got the cashier's number from crescent moon. lol. hes a junior in high school and shes a freshman in college. HE MUST SPIT SOME MAD GAME! then i called TD and we talked on claire's cell phone almost the whole way to abbott. lol. he has a concert tonight and i REALLY wanna go, but it costs money and brittni's a poor ass bitch. lol. not really, im just broke. but, if i dont go, then hes gonna sing to me over the phone. how sweet right? RIGHT. maybe thats why his friends *i.e. phil, dylan, nate, billy* call him gay. bcuz he can sing, and he was a techie. which reminds me IM GONNA BE IN A PRODUCTION OF LES MIS BY THE HAYMARKET THEATRE! MATT S! YOU MUST SIGN UP WITH ME. PLEASE! it'll be fun. it's a first come, first serve basis. no auditions, not really anyways. till rehearsals start and you audition for which part fred gives you. but the thing is, i SAW FRED AT STARBUCKS! OMG IT SO MADE MY DAY EVEN BETTER. lol. i was so happy. and he recognized me! i guess rehersals had just gotten out for this play they're doing. OMG! if TD doesnt make baseball, which he prolly will, i should get him to sign up! he can act. so can matt. he could do it. umm, maybe mike e. maybe? movie night as my house friday. phil's invited i guess, but once again, he's prolly gonna hang out with Fake-Davey er i mean Tim. td's voice is hot! matt and i havent spoken since saturday. arent you proud? :D yayness. derek.....can you go to my house friday? your mom HAS met my mom, and of course, she can meet my dad if need be. but i kinda planned this cuz of you. woooo! DAYS OF THE PHEONIX! mmmmmmmmmm. something about afi. it's sooooooooo sweet gothica. lol. idk. I WANT TO STAY! lol. man i rock. tim always asked me to listen to Wester. sweetness right? movie night: featuring Amityville Horror and something else. well, 2 more days till star wars. ttyl. LOVES
<3 Brittni

8th wave

omfg! omfg! OMFG I LOVE SKA. lol. only bcuz of 8th wave. i cant believe they broke up. i fucking love them tho. slam omaha's website has the mp3 for Crush A Lot. YES YES YES YES YES YES FINALLY! god im fucking happy. this made my day. idc what happens i have this song! OH GOD YES! im in love. 8th wave is teh sex! *i meant to mispell that for you un-scene people* word sucka. i LOVE this. god yes. i think im gonna orgasm. oh yes. oh yeaaahh! YEAH BOI! this shit is fucking gangsta! you nigga! word. lol. god im happy now. i love this shit. bref, je voudrais un sandwich poulet, quoi! lol. that says: anyways, i want a chicken sammich, you know? LOL. i woner how you say nigger in french: lets look. k? k. nigger is the same but negro is: nègre LMAO. HA HA HA HA! claire, remember? I SMELL NIGGA. lol. im gonna go now. <3
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Babers

Walking Dead

i feel so lost in this song. like in a sad, angsty movie of loneliness and im loving it. so, i have stuff to post, but im too lazy to write out all this random shit, so i'll go by numbers or a lost or something. hold up k? k.
woke up on sunday
ate a bagel
i was kinda mad
i cleaned the kitchen, and the living room and hallway
i left to walmart with monica and claire after finding out that derek's coming to town *just like santa*
i bought a couple little things for derek, i plan to get more tho
we also got mcdonalds
i went home
talked to TD for like.....EVER
i hung out for a while, picked up the basement and forgot to vaccuum
went to my room
talked to claire
we decided to do my hair
dad took me to walgreens
we got coloring stuff
i washed my hair
claire came over
she put it in my hair
we took her home
i washed it out
and its sooo pretty. *i highlighted it*
......
.....
....
...
..
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today will be ok. this week will ROCK tho. lol. i just went to the bathroom and ellen was in there, and she was all excited about derek coming into town. she wants to hang out with me and him. and im gonna steal him from his mom 24/7. derek......you can ALWAYS come to my house during the games if your mom will let you. or i can visit you. either works. just let me know ur schedule asap k? anyways. the morning was ok. weezer didnt get burned. something is up with iTunes.or maybe its just my cd burner.umm, after school im going to hancock to get some duke fleece and some baseball fleece for phil's blanket. him being him he prolly wont read this till he gets it, but im gonna have to tell him anyways so i know what color of baseball fleece to get. (maroon, blue, or black) im not sure which. prolly blue or black tho. then i have my performance. and yes, im SO pissed about it. i had a piece written out especially for phil and my dad. and phil, being a dumbass COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT GUITAR until yesterday when its too late to cancel. so claire's coming with me and my dad and im leaving early. thank GOD. tomorrow: blanket tying wednesday: while my dad's at my brother's play, claires coming over again for blanket tying maybe with monica, and if possible, we'll bring it to phil's. thursday: star wars at 10. leaving house around 8:30, derek, if you get here on thursday......about what time? i NEED to know friday: movie night and pizza. derek, claire and i. maybe someone else. phil will prolly be at tims so he cant go saturday: shopping with derek maybe? shopping for a swimsuit either way and then starwars AGAIN at 7. it better rock if im gonna see it twice sunday:idk yet. bref.....im suposed to bring a baseball bat painted blue as a lightsaber on thursday and beat the shit out of people with it. i CANT BELIEVE I GET TO SEE STARWARS ON THE DAY IT COMES OUT! OMG! lol. my dad cant pronounce catholicism. he said catholikism *strong KUH sound* lol. silly dad. liam neeson played a character in the simpsons last night. i missed the simpsons and fmaily guy and everything else. ill watch it today or tomorrow. idk which. oh guess what? DAD PROMISED TO BUY AN XBOX 360 WHEN IT COMES OUT. we're gonna get a face plate for it too. lol. and if he buys the big screen tv he wants during this week, we get a free iPod AND ILL BE THE ONE TO GET IT. lol. well, im gonna go now. im done i guess.
...
..
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Loves
Brittni
aka
BABERS!

Today Rocked

ate green bean casserole
left to phils
changed my clothes
helped with garage sale
watched sword in the stone
called claire
ate BLTs
walked around
met monica and claire at homers
drove around, while i sat in the car seat
went to peking palace
claire and i ate, monica and phil watched
took phil home, i was in the car seat
went to barnes and noble and got starbucks
went to claires and watched chapelle show
bought $3.10 in gas for monicas car
came home
mike got new shoes
and im about to eat more green bean casserole.
.
ive realised something today. men really dont understand things easily. craig is very disgusting. sword in the stone ROCKS. riding in car seats is the most fun ever. i love phil even more.
.
<3 Brittni aka
Babers

Today

today is gonna suck nuts. monica cant hang out till after dinner and thats when im busy. i think, when i go to phils, i might sleep. alot. im gonna make green bean casserole for lunch. and im waiting for the eggs to cool down before i can make deviled eggs. i also have to burn The Killers for phil and Busted for nate *who is so not a pussy bcuz HE CAN ADMIT THAT SHIT YOU FUCKER* haha. take that. i so just called u a pussy. and i dont care. thats right phil. i called you a pussy and i made it known to the world that you wont admit you like busted. even tho you said you did until i told you the name. frankly, i dont give a fuck about you right now. i dont give a fuck about anybody right now except monica. dad wke me up at 9:30 with the promise of breakfast from somewhere besides my kitchen and/or fridge so i start getting ready and it takes 15 mins to brush my hair. he gets mad adn tehn i need the bathroom and i got made bcuz it's gonna take 20 mins for me to get ready.......and so he made me stay home. and now i cant sleep. and i wanna bawl. idky, but something is really wrong with me. its pathetic. i just want to pack some clothes, makeup and stuff, and just go to phils in my pjs. im gonna make green bean casserole niggas! fuck you. umm, anyother news? besides the fact that im prolly PMSing and im runing no sleep and little caffeine? guess not. more news when/if it happens.
<3 Brittni

People

all of you people suck. honestly. you wanna know who made me happy today? my dad and a counselor that i just met. i miss tyler. my day SUCKED. josh hinman and i got into a fight, and then brian and i did. matt thinks i didnt want to talk to him when i was out getting chinese. iTunes wont let me download my new fave song. i feel like a failure. i really do. i feel like shit. and im tired too. tomorrow better work out for me. and i swear to god, the moment i arrive at phil's......IM GONNA SLEEP. mm, killers shirt tomorrow. maybe i'll just put my hair up tomorrow and curl it a bit, so it looks like i tried. frankly...i dont want to talk to brian right now. he needs to stop IMing me. i got two new fortunes for phil and my scrapbook tho. i got to talk to billy, that made me happy. happy today: claire's sandwhich, talking to the counselor, eating chinese, talking to billy. period. tomorrow.....im gonna be with monica. and im going to bed now, cuz tomorrow, we plan to stop at phils, billys, dylans and maybe tims. we're not sure yet. um, monday i perform. and everything is going wrong. i HATE this. 6 days till star wars.
.

honestly, i feel dead. here's the song:
In the chill of the night
I can feel my heart racing
As I run towards the light
that seems so far away
Wondering forever
In the darkest of shadows
Wondering if I will ever see you again

Wondering if I will ever see you again

I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire

I'll take the world
when it turns on you
(when it turns on you)
I'll set it on fire

W-the-w-th-th-the walking dead
The walking dead (walking dead)

Digging in the dirt
I can feel you getting closer
Steadying my hands through the blistering pain
Anxiously awaiting for the earth to reveal you
Wondering if I will ever see you again (see you again)

Wondering if I will ever see you again

I'll take your love
(I'll take your love)
I'll take your hate
(take your hate)
I'll take you're desire

I'll take your heart
I'll take your pain
(I'll take your pain)
I'll bring you to life

I'll bring you to life
.
DJ Z-Trip ft Chester Bennington. it's the greatest song ever. it's hiphop....and depressing. i <3 it. and it makes me angry and depressed and tired. night.

Friday the 13th.

it's friday the 13th, and somebody has more votes then the other person for french club. but then about five people voted. and idk who gets what until the end of the day......yet im leaving at 1:30. wtf? i have no money in my lunch account, so i cant eat. like, i've reached the limit for a negative amount. i hvae to write a story completely in french, choose another poem to recite, finish my week's worth of writing, and do ALL of my worldhis notebook. grrrrrrrrrrrr. x10. i feel like poo. my eval is today. i have nothing to do. im tired. i think i lost. :( and i HATE it. mike e did message me tho. and i got to see phil last night. 2nd time ive done that but this time it was fun. dont ask....lol. phil.....next time? ;) lol. i smell like phil. HAHA. and im listening to weezer. yum. i <3 this cd. can we say in brittni's top 5?!?! (brittni's top 5: killers-hot fuss, snow patrol-spitting games,weezer-make believe, breaking benjamin-we are not alone, postal service) anyways. i gotta go, cuz im suposed to finsih a paper for mr barnacle and shit like that.
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Brittni
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p.s. here's my fave weezer song.....which makes me want to play a song that sounds all miami-vice like:
"This Is Such A Pity"

How is your heart little darling?
I didn't mean to get so mad.
Let me just hold you closely.
How did things get so bad?
I know how to pick on you.
You pushed me over the edge.
We caused so much agony.
We can't seem to move ahead.

This is such a pity.
We should give all our love to each other.
Not this hate that destroys us.
This is such a pity.
(This is a pity)

What kind of future will we have?
Will we ever find peace?
Everybody thinks we're crazy.
They're about to call the police.
I don't wanna be a chump.
You think I'm a fascist pig.
Right now everything is black.
I don't think we'll get it.

This is such a pity.
We should give all our love to each other.
Not this hate that destroys us.
This is such a pity.
(This is a pity)

[solo]*best part of the song*

This is such a pity.
We should give all our love to each other.
Not this hate that destroys us.
This is such a pity.
(This is a pity)

DJ

go dj! i just split my blister again. damnit. it needs to disappear. i feel so shitty today. i have to go to the mall again, exchange my shirt, maybe see phil but idk if i want to. not like that, idk, its hard to explain. i have french xlub elections after school. if i dont make prez.........i wont wake up the next day. madame heminger tried to get me to NOT sign up, but i almost live for french club. i would be so devastated. its hard enough to try to get myself prepared for losing to katee or sara......but what about phil and baseball? if i have to take the problem of him not making it, for any reason, id die. i really would. im not made to handle failing. i cant handle anything right now. i want to bawl based on the fact that madame heminger thinks i should only be vice-prez. PLUS, i have to listen to poor depressed monica and her sad, woeful obsession with matt. puis, trevor veut etre mon ami. wtf? idk what to say really. he can be sweet, but, he REALLY hurt me this year. but i kinda miss hanging out with him and ian. i feel bad for the way i treated ian before. ok, so, the 21st there's a french party, so the 20th, i think im gonna have td, billy, dylan, claire, billy's girl and one of my girlfriends over. since td's done with theatre after this weekend. word. lol. here's an inside joke : billy and phil warmed up together....thats so hot. i got new picks on flickr. and i'll have a pic of billy up there soon. if you want, i can send you the file of me making a funny face. lol. knowing derek itll go up on his site. lol. i can NOT believe how blonde billy is. dad doesnt believe me that civics on novanet is hardwork and hes mad cuz i wont pass it this semester. stupid asshole. im gonna make up english assignments, geometry assignments, world his assignments and maybe even french ones so my grades come up. omg, i used a paintbrush for makeup today. alyssa said i look like a china doll. lol. i dipped the paintbrush lightly into water and used the water to make my eyeshadow damp and painted it around my eyes. its SO awesome. i <3 it. i wonder if phil will. oh well. idc. mmm.......old school savage garden. break me shake me. universe. violet. yes. life is ok for now. i want to go home.....cry.....eat orange sherbert....and ramen noodles and sleep. i cant wait till sunday. im taking sunday off. i feel so shitty.im nervous about french club and for next monday....none of my pieces are good enough. im not good enough. dammmmnit. i hope to see mike evnen soon. apparently, matt has a bad cough that is contagious and he cant be at school for the rest of the week. he was here tuesday tho. hes SO avoiding monica. g2g. loves
-Miss Fish


aka Brittni


<3.

some lyrics

manipulation: i am that shadow under your window baby, i am the feeling on the back of you tongue, something you never wanted, something thats is never enough. just hold my hand baby, as the vemon goes through my vains, my mother mary will guide me, she told me my name was in vain

and now for your viewing pleasure, i will disappear forever, take my hand and we'll be toghter, raining bullets forever

and now i am the broken pane of you fear now, i want to sneak my way, i want to be your one of baby,let me be the one to depend, and let me be spent,take my hand and we'll be together raining bullets forever.
.
~phil likes ****** and admitted it

Tired

im soooooooooooo tired. yesterday? well, i shaved. gell-tanned myself and put on my fave skirt. :( i ended up wearing it to the mall and no GOOD came out of it. fucker. but i got to hang out with phil at the mall. and i got The Killers tshirt. but it's too small, so im wearing it now with the tag and im gonna return it. yes! and i got an anne rice novel. my third. mike let me borrow his headphones. im hungry for chinese food. but we gotta get groceries today and i gotta go so i can get creamer, cheese, yogurt, bacon and sausage. friday i got my eval at 2. then the mall for myshirt exchange and then phils. finally. lol. ;) lol. tomorrow, monica and matt are coming over if he decides he's not an arrogant prick. before 7th period yesterday, he tried to give me a note, but it was crumpled up and thrown on the floor. idgaff if you drew me the most beautiful picture ever, im NOT bending over for a shitty piece of paper. end of story. so i kciked it and it hit meghan. lol. stupid bitch. alors avant la 8ème période il a marcé du monica. et elle a pleuré. je n'aime pas matt. il est méchant tout le jours. yeah. ha made her cry. stupid asshole. well, bcuz im so bored, im gonna type random shit.
.
Duct tape is like the force. It's dark on one side, light on the other and holds the universe together.
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Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
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Your shirt says princess but your face says troll.
.
omg......somethings i collect:
Books:
Jude Watson's J.A. series, J.q. series, Clone Wars series, Last Of The Jedi series.
Anne Rice's novels. prefferably the New Tales
Marian Keyes' novels
Informative books on any of the following
-People in history
-Latin
-French
-Calligraphy
-Psychology
-Britain
Movies:
Tim Burton
Ewan McGregor
LOTR
HP
Star Wars
Historical (fiction or non)
Cards:
harry potter
lotr
neopets
star wars
Other:
perfume/body spray (fruit or vanilla scented only)
glitter lotion
dessert
candles (vanilla, tropical fruit, bakery or cologne imitation scented only)
hoodies
cds
bands (lol)
rubber bracelets ( like the livestrong one)
.
yeah, cool no? it smells like rain in here. and i can see the four-way in the hallway and i can tell by the light from the windows that the weather is rainy and wonderful.
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P.S. IM GONNA BE FRENCH PRESIDENT. everybody in french club except those running for prez are voting for me. basically, my french class and some other older kids who dont really care. danny, and jill andre wont make it for sure. so its between me and katee handy. and katee will NOT win bcuz im promising more parties, more candy sales, and more charity fundraisers therefore making us the best club in the school, cuz thats what we are! im gonna make french club something to be proud of. maybe i can student assist during my extra time next year. ill work with madame heminger. sound cool? g2g. wish me luck, which reminds me
GOOD LUCK AT TRYOUTS BABY!
<3
Miss Fish

Im Back!

im back, arent you excited? sveeeeet. so, life totally sucks right now and i wish i was dead. here's my FUCKING weekend.......assnugget!
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fri: get home. change. we're getting ready to leave for omaha when, 10 mins before we leave, i find out dad's going to michigan for work. so im to stay with tony. i pack clothes, we eat at the upstream. how was dinner? well the pot roast was the 2nd best meal ever *behind beef lo mein* but the children do not sit still. i was crying bcuz i was so angry. fucking kids. i get to my uncle's house and FINALLY get to sleep. i wake up at 10 something the next day.
sat: get up at 10. dont eat anything. go out to the land and see the house and ride the fourwheeler for a very small amount of time. go back to tony's. mike, ryan and jessica leave for lincoln for a pool party. tony and i stay home, he naps and i eat pizza. just for the record, im so desperatly lonely right now. we leave to the land and i ride the four wheeler for 2.5 hours STRAIGHT. i even managed to tip the fourwheeler and to throwmyself off. good job dumbass, right? right. but, the bumps gave me sore muscles and a HUGE blister on my hand making it hard to type. we go home, wait for the kids to arrive. now, we had planned on seeing a movie with nana. and until about 5 o clock that day, i thought it was just nana, mike and i since she can see ryan and jess almost anytime she wants. but i was wrong. there were NO movies that would interest all of us kids. they planned to go see Hitchicker's Guide to the Galaxy. FUCK THAT SHIT GRANDMA! nope, no way in hell and i gonna watch that piece of shit. so nana and i were talking and i made her cry cuz i told her i 'didnt want to be reprimanded about my grades' when she said she was only 'trying to help' fuck that. fuck it i say! if want somebody to tell me the importance of grades, ill call my parents thank you. so she took the kids to Family fun center. julie and i stayed in while tony went with bfg to eat at the upstream and to fetch his work comp for julie's finals, which are today, for college. i showered, cuz i could feel the dirt from the fourwheeler. and we talked. and when tony got back, and the kids and stuff....mike was punching me and throwing shoes at me and i couldnt do anything back and julie was yelling at tony that she wanted a divorce. so nana took jessica and i to her house to stay. jess and i watched pirates of the carribean and i finished my book and cried alot bcuz i missed phil x10000000000000000000000. and i was look at the stars in the window *i was laying down so the window was upside down* and i wondered if phil was looking at that shy too. i fell asleep after stuffing my face with pringles. that was at 1am.
sun:get up at 10, and eat pancakes and sausages. yummy. x10. talk to nana. clean up the basement. get on her computer and attempt to update everything. i was able to comment on ONE xanga, comment on phil's blog, and delete junk mail. then everything stopped working. jess and i left with tony, went to his work and he fixed something while we watched jimmy neutron *instead of office space* and then we back to tonys. jess and ryan and julie went to julie's moms for mothers day, and we went out to the land. i rode the four wheeler twice. one for 2 mins each. and then i went in the house and it started to rain. we left right when it was begining to hail. got home, and finally, julie and the kids got back. well, i was trying to rest and mike and jessica were fighting with fun noodles *for the pool* and jessica swung hers AFTER I TOLD HER TO STOP DOING IT IN THE HOUSE AND ASKED HER TO GO OUTSIDE and she smacked me in the fucking eye. i was so pissed that i stomped upstairs and slept on ryan's bed till 6:30. ate some bratwurst and GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE. fucking yum. watched the two new simpsons episodes. ryan and jess arent allowd to watch family guy or american dad so i missed the episodes. damnit. but we played simpsons monopoly. then they went to bed and tony and i watched random stuff on tv, until settling for the matrix and i had some bbq chips, mike was sleeping. and dad arrived at 11:42 i think. we went home. i fell asleep at 1.
today:i got up at 4. showered. my hair would NOT straighten right and it pissed me off. i need some shampoo and conditioner and razors tho. but, even tho life is shitty. im trying to smile. i found my green suede jacket tho. im trying....
.
just so you all know.....this was an account of my actions this weekend. if i told you what i was thinking about inbetween/during these past few days it would just be phil's name repeating a shit load. thats not nice is it? it'd be boring. it'd derek's bday, michelle's bday, phil and my 7 month, and nicole and josh's 7 month. cool no? 10 days till star wars. im making green bean casserole tonight. my evaluation is friday. claire's is today. stupid shrinks. im gonna see if phil cant come over today after/if hes going to the dmv. DAMN YOU DMV. dane cook has a new cd out....RETALIATION. fucking YES. i cant wait to buy it. i think im gonna get mom to buy me either a)charlie and the chocolate factory shirt b)dane cook SUFI shirt c)ludo shirt. im not sure which. p.s. my headphones broke. and im working on personal compilations for all my friends. like.....memory songs. claire's is half nsync. which reminds me......guess what i danced to today? ITS GONNA BE ME. niggas. lol. i gotta pee really bad, my bladder hurts. i think i may get an infection soon. ten minutes. oh well. i gotta go. loves
.
I LOVE YOU PHIL! HAPPY SEVEN MONTHS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEREK-BOO!

Derek here

Derek here, Who jus does that brittni? lol puts a piece of paper up on thier ceiling? jk But anywhoe idk what im doing typing up a post instead of a comment, just thought I would, but yep.... well ill ttyl ciao

Exhausted

im so very exhuasted. im about ready to faint. no, im not being melodramatic either. i feel like total shit! like im sick but im not. damn you. damn you x10. atleast yesterday was good!
.
met phil in the office, and he wasnt allowd in, so i called myself out of school, and left on the 27th street bus. we went downtown and got on the next bus going north on 27th. we went to petsmart, the most adorable cat was there too. i wanted to take him home. its not fair, life, sometimes. we came back. james rapped for us, and we were gangstas for a while. it was quite fun. claire, and phil, at one time, near me, makes me feel so incredably loved. its mad. i love phil. and my dad's salsa dip. and family guy.
.
you know, i wish i could NOT think of you. i wish you would have hugged me yesterday and i wish you werent attempting, without trying, to ruin everything ive ever dreamed of. you and your attempts at happiness, and your stupid flirting. i hate how you flirt with EVERYTHING. even the guys that call you a queer. its not your fault that girls are hopelessly attracted to you. and thats how you make me feel. hopeless, and worthless. i hate you. i dont care if you make me the happiest ive ever been at times, i truly hate you. even when you make me smile, i hate you. i hate you more and more when my mind forces me to think about you when i WANT to think about someone else. and when i try to hate you, my mind makes me like you. idk. i just hate you and i wish i nver knew you......i wish you'd go away.......but now that i know you, that wont seem to happen. hysteria. good song right?
.
dont worry, thats not about phil. but phil and i will get married someday and have holidays in the dordogne. i know it. i wish i could be in illinois right now. just for the weekend. a weekend away. i know who i think about, but i hate it. i love phil. he needs to get away.
.
last night, i missed tyler. therefor, once again, reducing the number of hours that i sleep by miles. if i dont get sleep in tomorrow, im gonna be dead. i swear it. im so exhausted that i just want to sit and cry during lunch, not eat. at all. im so happy. i am. truly. its just hard to show with...what.....3 hours of sleep? i hate this life.
.
love
Your Posh Bird

Ha Ha Derek!

you think ill forget? i have it written on a piece of paper that is on my ceiling above my head! HA! you thought you could get away. too bad eh?
.
phil should be here soon. mrs.hitz said that he cant come up here when he arrives........?.......what? oh well, ill sneak him out, otherwise, i'll call myself out of school and we'll walk to my house. either way.....itll rock. so bite me. acctually, we'd have to walk somewhere else, cause i have to be at the school to have my dad pick us up. im excited. i've been waiting all day. i got up at 4! not 4:25! 4! yeahhhhh i know! oh well. im just PRAYING that matt doesnt charge over to us and get angry at phil. :( not good. nut good t'atall. haha. accents. lolllll. im so excited that idk wut to write. i got billy gilman's new cd.its ok. i wish i would have gotten chevelle's tho. keane makes me feel like im in england. so does the word Virgin Records. i know thats two words, but say them as one. yeah. instant memories. 16 15 mins. lol. no, 10. lol. till i can go down to the office. 9. ahhhh im so nervous. i hope i look ok. i hope he figures out where to get off the bus and what bus to get on. im praying. omg, 8! lol. im soooo excited. i love you
-Brittni

Pretty

i feel so pretty today. even tho im bruised from licorice. that shit fucking kills! i was listening to the old chevelle cd earlier....old school, i know.....and i found a song i love. yup, that means lyrics, but only after the post. fo shizzle. my pink and black shoes made a rebirth after i put my black and pink star laces in them. word. lol. most deff. lol. if i could learn ANY song on bass right now...itd be this song. its like a love song to me. seriously. the lead singer looks like dance cook. 5 days till our 7 month, derek's bday and michelle's bday. woot. x10. claire's back today and ive been smiling all day. i love this day! idk why. lmao. but i took a step closer yesterday and talk about an uplift! word. that and i got to sleep at 10. bitch. after matt hung up on me. idk y but im in good spirits. i cant wait to get home and play my bass now. and read. and eat licorice and maybe even ribs and i want ribs really badly. or chinese. no ribs. and solid dark chocolate. mmmm FOOD. biotch. i heart chevelle. and phil and home insurance and home equity. lol. dont ask! i hate chapter 11 in geometry. grrrrrrrrr. omfg i have freckles all over my arms. shit loads of tiny freckles. i need to go tanning and cover up those little fuckers. oh well, its bye bye time and im hungry. loves.


Breathe, trust, bless me and release,
Climb, hard or never be seen.
Closed off, rescue to breathe.
Just bless me.

Two sided time,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, the pain.

Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.

Had to to turn, lay down,
Your sting of disease.
Phase you out, should've seen this coming.
Go on confusing the soul,
Hold my breath 'til you rupture.

Three days aside,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, pride.

Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.

Like a leach,
I hold on as if we belonged,
To some precious pure dream.
Cast off, you've seen what's beneath,
Now fail me.

Forget closure,
Forget closure,
Forget closure,
Forget closure.

Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
So breathe.

guitar into bass
G|----------------------------------------------------
D|----------------------------------------------------
A|--2--4--5--5-4-1--2--4--5--5-4-1--2--5--4--5--5-4-1-
E|----------------------------------------------------

acctual bass tabs
Intro/Verse
G-----------------------------|
D-----------------------------|
A---22222222222222222222222---|
E-----------------------------|

Pre-chorus
G---------------------------------------------|
D---------------------------------------------|
A---5-5-7-5---5-5-7-5---7-7-9-7---7-7-9-7-----|
E-----------7---------7---------7---------7---|

Chorus
G-------------------------------------------------------------|
D-------------------------------------------------------------|
A---222222222222222222222--5-4--------------------------------|
E------------------------------2-33333333333333333333333333---|

Post-Chorus
G-----------|
D----0--0---|
A---2--2----|
E-----------|

Heavy Metal Part/Ending
G-------------------|-----------------------------|
D-------------------|-----------------------------|
A---555555-222222---|---555-444-----55555--2222---|
E-------------------|----------22222--------------|

End on A---2222---|

Neverwhere update

neverwhere update:
second series coming? Seventh Sister. neil hinted at this at one point. sveeet.
.
it was a miniseries on bbc and A&E in 1996.
.
here's my idea for movie cast:
Marquis: Johnny Depp
Richard: Ewan McGregor
Door: ME! :S
Hunter: ?
Islington: Ian McKellen
The evil witch lady: ?
Mr Vandermar: Sean Astin.....but with black hair? Billy Boyd
Mr Croup: Alan Rickman *he could make the marquis look good too*
His GF: Keira Knightley
Director: TIM BURTON
Screenplay: Neil Gaiman and Tim Burton
Music: Howard Shore

Smash Hits

smash hits usa is the greatest website ever. what am i listening to, you say? Your Song by ewan mcgregor. yummy and romantic. im almost halfway done with my book. matt and i havent said ten words to each other. i was asking josh if i could talk to him about whats wrong.....and matt was standing next me and i scooted against the lockers as much as i could.....and matt was chewing ona damn straw. acctually. all i said to matt is: do you need something? and No. ha! take that you self-centered, anal-retentive prick! i want to write a wedding song! bitch. ok, i have something for you. a nice long post, but first, my persuasive speech is titled "Nothing is impossible" haha. take that you dumbasses. suck it. anyways:
.
After being the girlfriend of great and not so great guys, im come to the conclusion that there are Three kinds of guys. Three. Dirt, Rough Diamond, and Diamond Imposter. dirt guys are exactly as the name says.....dirt. they treat you like shit and hurt you. ala Jared. other guys, are Diamond Imposters. They are beautiful and sparkly and addicting like diamonds, but in truth, they are but mere crystals. of low-worth and there are WAY too many. i want to use Matt in this example, but it snot 100% true. umm, just think of the preppy, pretty surfer boy who seems to be sweet but it just the average tit-addicted party-boy. yeah, thats the Crystal. then there's rough diamonds. i've only had two of these. ever. now, they don't look like diamonds to the world, like on the outside, but they are rare and very precious. they are, to the world, ok looking on the outside, but to you, they are the most beautiful thing the lord has placed on this earth. both inside and out. they mean everything to you and the same for them. they are as close to perfect as we can get and you cherish them. they cherish you and want to be with you every waking moment. they want only the best for you and would do anything for you to smile. material or not. they love you. my rough diamonds? Phil and Matt S. Pookie and Squishie. i love you phil!

B A N A N A S !

idk. im still exhausted. i usually get up at 4:15 to 4:25 and i did this morning, crawled out of bed and onto one of my blankets which lives on the floor currently, but i had a blanket around me already, and just laid uon this heap of blanket and bathrobe and covered up and slept till 5. which helped a teeny bit but when i get to school, im writing matt and sleeping till the snackshop opens when im DEVORING coffee and mtdew. bitchassnigga! god fucking damnit. i can NOT get realplayer to download and if i dont get it to download.....then i cant listen to certain songs. fucking nigger. atleast i can listen to new billy gilman now. he sounds like......idk. it makes me think of matt kittrell. the freshman. and the lyrics remind me of his old songs and part nsync lyrics. three words, two hearts, one kiss......sounds promising * its a song * omg i cant wait to get this cd. aww.....a baseball song! HOW CUTE! omg. this is so cute. sad thing is....this kid is like, older then me i think. that or older then phil. lol. but hes close to my age. i wish i was him.....but the female version. omg how ADORABLE. im wearing phils anchando shirt. mmmm. it smells like curve from sitting next to my incense. YUM. omg. im exhausted baby. i saw claire after school. she's so pretty. i wish i looked HALF as good as her. i love her. she's so wonderful. i was gonna run up and hug her and on my way over *cuz she was coming in for her school stuff* i saw her mom, halted to a stop and ran back to ahng out with chaz, josh and mike. i trusted mike. and afterschool, chaz and josh would NOT leave me alone. they kept touching me! ARGH! x10. and they were trying to touch my boobs. and mike just fucking sat there. i figured hed like, stick up for me or atleast hold me so they couldnt get to me. i feel kinda betrayed. i hate chaz. josh is ok im small doses but jesus fucking christ. god. crossfade show tonight and i dont think i can go. but the billy gilman cd is out tonight and BOY do i want it. id take that over a crossfade ticket anyday. ok, warped tour.....7/19 in omaha *not 100% on the arena place* but tickets are around 28 bucks right now. like, 50 bands. and dad's 80% sure i can go. im gonan earn it too. im taking a group, Kelli, Josh, Jordan *josh's girly*, Phil, Claire, Dylan, and someone else for kelli. maybe we'll bring billy! lmao. yeah! PHIL! LETS BRING BILLY! woot. or TD! lol. awww. itll be fun! i hope i lose weight by then cuz ill prolly be in a beater. buuuttttttt.......anypoo. dad scared me to death just before i went to bed last night. he hid in the bathroom, but thank god for karma. while he was waiting in there, for me to wlak by, he was gonna scare me.......the cat was in the bathroom behind him making noise and he was scared! HAHAHAHAHA! bitch. i think this large amount of coffee lately is eating away at my teefs. gargup. idk. im bored. i ate tacobell last ngiht and when we were about to leave, bryan maya shows up but thank god he didnt see me. i was dressed funny. i g2g now. loves.
<3 Brittni
p.s. Oui Sis My
and
Bet Thrills Pion VI

p.p.s. you are {affirmation around ten)

Welcome

im back! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! well, im 99.9% sure it's your birthday. right phil? omg id be embarassed if it wasnt. i was gonna have monica drive me to see you after school but shes sick. and there's no way i could have matt near you, even if he could. end of story. k? k. today. is. good. i saw my breath this morining adn the morning chill was very pleasing. i liked the way it made my face stiffen. maybe they should make stages cold so actor's faces stiffen up and they cant smile. ;) oh yeah. and i realised something else that i cant remember. oh, ive never been to ruby tuesdays. connor, nate, bryan and nick weren't on the bus this morning. it was just me and josh morgan. it was fun, we talked about stina. then jeremy came and acctually sat there for like, half an hour! it made me happy. i was cool enough to be at the same table as lns's emo kid. :D and beth was there. and ben aka jesus. and savanah and i talked forever. it was much happy. and french? omg. alyssa had pictures and wouldnt let me have the doubles! GRRRRR! lol. i cant wait till monica developes her pictures so i can have BASEBALL pictures. yes. x10. ok, im kinda sad, and relieved. idk which. ive made my decision. and altho i will continue to Long For and Want and Miss and Think Of, which will die out sooner or later.....im gonna stay with him. im still planning on evaluating my choices, so its not 100% right now. still. grow up. please? for me. you're 15, im 16, this is kinda ridiculous. omfg i looooove my book to pieces. if i could be like anybody, or acctually, have anybody's body.....i'd have Jessica Rabbit's body. totally. ok, the song The Reason goes out my certain special 'someone' and i think they know who they are. end of story. i wish i could play it on guitar. i feel like writing a poem but i have no inspiration. derek's bday is coming up soon. so is star wars. i wish i could drive to mccook to see him. but im grounded. i hope i get sleepy meds.....lord knows i need em. or maybe even sedatives or tranks. ooooo yummy. i wrote matt a 223 word-long note. we're in a battle. im just gonna write three pages. jackass. he could never beat that. then again, he is a self-centered, lazy, assnugget. omg my back hurts. g2g. i love you phil!
-Brittni